Month: January 2025

Faith/

Cultivating A Heart of Gratitude

When you have four kids, homeschool, it’s the holiday season, the weather is cooler, and your kids have been sick you can pretty much guarantee that everyone will be a little annoyed with each other. Something about being cooped up in the house and off our regular schedule that really messes with our attitudes. The timing couldn’t have been better since it was Thanksgiving we were celebrating. But I noticed that kindness, nice words, and joy have been in short supply lately.

 It’s so easy for me to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life. Being that I’m just naturally realistic and task-focused, I can very easily put feelings, empathy, and joy on the back burner. I’ve realized that this tendency can create a challenging atmosphere, add in the stir-crazy kiddos and everyone in our house has been a little negative. 

It was clear that we needed to shift our focus and cultivate a heart of gratitude within our family.

So last week I had heard enough bickering from the kids and decided to stop everything we were doing and focus on what God’s word said about our struggles. We began by sitting down for an open discussion. I encouraged everyone to share their feelings, thoughts, or anything they wanted to express. This was a safe space for the kids to voice their concerns and frustrations. 

Following our discussion, I led a Bible study about the power of our words and how we treat others. We reflected on the profound impact our words can have, and how kindness can transform not only our interactions but also our inner feelings. 

One poignant moment came when we talked about the concept of “the last time.” I reminded them that we never know when the last time will be that we play cards together, run through the trees with gel blasters, or enjoy a family movie night as a family of 6. I shared my memories of carrying them to bed in their little swaddle sleepers, singing them to sleep with twinkle twinkle twinkle little star,  and giving them bubble baths before bed. All while not realizing which time would be the last time I would do those things as their mama. Every day brings new growth, and seasons go by so quickly. This reflection made it clear: every moment counts, and it’s essential to cherish them.

We also explored the idea that gratitude can be found in the small, mundane aspects of our lives. Waking up in a warm home, having our basic needs met, and the privilege of homeschooling allows us to build deep relationships, as siblings are all gifts that deserve our appreciation. Even if it’s during the season of us being home more due to sickness. 

As we discussed these points, a shift began to occur. The kids started to express gratitude for the little things, and I noticed a change in their demeanor. It reminded me that true joy comes not from our circumstances but from a heart filled with gratitude.

Cultivating a heart of gratitude is a journey that requires effort and intention. It’s about recognizing the beauty in everyday moments and cherishing them as if they were the last. It’s about understanding that true joy stems from our personal relationship with Jesus. As we become more aware of our blessings and express gratitude for them, we open our hearts to the joy that God has in store for us. 

Faith/

Not What You’d Expect

I recently shared this post on my social media just to let others know that I’m not what you’d expect when you ask who I am. 

Imagine I tell you I am a Jesus-loving homeschool mom and you think I’m an oppressed want-to-be Tradwife stuck in my kitchen while my kids read classic literature and are sheltered all day listening to classical music. Meanwhile, if you stop by today… I’m living for staying home, cooking Thanksgiving dinner in my Dolly t-shirt. While my daughter practices her tattoo skills and we are bumping our Playlist from Forest Frank,  KB, The Judds, and Usher.  All while teaching my kids to cook like my southern mamaws and how to dance the Tootsie Roll at the same time.

Happy Wednesday

Jason Wurzelbacher thanks for all you put up with

I shared it because I feel like thanks to social media and our culture, we are quickly put into one box or another because of our beliefs, the choices we make, and the values we hold. We are quick to judge others who do anything differently than we do. Then we form opinions about them on the little we may know about them. Especially when it comes to parenting and how we raise our families. 

I’ve always been careful when sharing anything about my life that I am honest, realistic, and not worrying about what others think. I’ve also talked about over and over again the way social media creates so many false narratives, as people are afraid to share their reality. Instead, they try to curate this perfect narrative of their life and make it look like everyone else expects them to. Enter every social media mom influencer with the exact same style, hair extensions, decor, you name it. Sharing only our best moments, our highlight reels, sets an unrealistic standard for us, those around us, and for the generations to come. 

I never want my kids to think I am a perfect mom and that I never struggle or that I want to be like everyone else. I don’t even want that kind of power even if it was a real thing. Giving the impression that I have it all together and everything is happy and perfect all the time makes it seem like I don’t help. Like I’m all good. Like I have all the answers. Like I don’t need a savior. I never want that to be an impression I leave for anyone but especially not my own kids. I am a broken hot mess and I need saving, I need grace, I need wisdom, I need mercy, every single day, every single moment. I need Jesus and I want everyone to know that. 

I also want our sons and our daughter to know that if their family decides to be different than those around them because they feel like that’s what God is calling them to do, they have the strength and ability to do so. I want them to know if that means that they focus less on a successful career and more on a deep faith in the Lord that they are making the right decision. I want them to know that if they trade financial wealth for more time together as a family, they are making the right decision. I want them to know if that means that they are simply doing things differently, they are probably doing it right. 

I’m so thankful that God has instilled confidence in me and in Jason that has allowed us to do things differently. I am so glad that we are not what you’d expect as a family of six that loves Jesus. Stick around to get to know us even more and hopefully, we can inspire you to do things differently.

Faith/

Seasons

I overuse the term seasons. I am fully aware of that. Whether I am writing or talking, say it all the time. I was recently working with a sweet couple that I am doing some pre-marital coaching with and left our meeting thinking, man I am pretty sure I say the word seasons like fifty times. But I just can’t seem to find another term that can replace it with the same meaning. 

Because so many parts, stages, and times of our lives are just like seasons. You can count on them happening. You know they are coming. Sometimes you just don’t know the exact date. You know some are better than others. Sometimes they are harder than others. But you also know they don’t last forever. 

Our family’s current season has been a new one for us all. As I have mentioned in my recent post, we are in a season of going through unexpected health issues with our youngest son. It has made a major impact on our entire family. We are also in this new season of being in the middle stage of parenting. Our kids are ages 7, 10, 12, and 14. We no longer have babies or toddlers running around. That saying the days are long and the years are short is sadly more and more evident each day. 

It’s such a bittersweet thing to experience your kids going from completely dependent on you to doing so many things on their own. Some of those things come as a relief, as I am no longer changing diapers or just doing all the things for everyone every day. Some of those things I miss, like giving bubble baths to our babies while they splash around, barely able to sit up on their own. Knowing that everything they do each day may be the last time I do it with them, without realizing that exact last time is hard. But as our kids grow we enter into this new SEASON with them that is equally special. As they are able to communicate more in-depth with us and as we watch their bond as siblings grow, it has truly been a gift. 

On the other hand, we are entering this teen and pre-teen life that brings hormones, big feelings, and so many emotions for all of us. I remember what middle school and high school were like for me and it was fun but also incredibly hard and exhausting at times. So trying to balance being the disciplinarian as the parent and being emotionally available to them can be difficult. 

The biggest thing I have learned to keep at the forefront of my mind, especially during those lovely spurts of disrespect and eye rolls, is that they have valid feelings and they are also trying to learn how to work through them at the same time. During this new season, I have found an immediate need for more communication. Of course, we are not a picture-perfect family, by any means. So we have more moments of contention and blow-ups and then we say, oh hey we should have talked about this before we let our emotions take over. We have spent more time talking through situations and through feelings than was necessary or even possible in those earlier years. 

Something we have been using that has been incredibly helpful is a feelings wheel. Now don’t get all weirded out on me. I know that sounds so odd. But it’s simply a piece of paper that I printed off that I found online. It was from a Bible-based teen magazine. It breaks down some basic feelings into some deeper ones. It has helped the kids connect what they are feeling and get down to where the behavior they are showing is actually stemming from. We have been talking a lot about our feelings and how they are indicators and not dictators in hopes of helping to give the kids the tools they need to work through their emotions and thoughts. 

As we continue to encounter new experiences and new emotions in this season of middle parenting, we have approached it with the same goals in mind as usual. We want to have children who always depend on God and know to prioritize that relationship first and foremost. We want them to run to him for everything. We also want them to know how important our relationship as their parents is and how important their relationship as siblings are. We want them to continue to grow into healthy individuals no matter what season we are in. 

So even on the hard days and on the days when we feel like we are getting it all wrong as parents, it’s important to remember that it’s all just a season and it will not last forever. 

Faith/

What’s Next

As a planner and Type A person, I have always needed the comfort of knowing what’s next. Having a to-do list, a calendar, and a way to map everything out and know what’s coming brings me comfort and makes my brain feel at ease. Oddly enough, my natural desires and tendencies are the exact opposite definition of faith. 

I’ve always tried doing things my own way and having that plan mapped out included having backup plans. No matter what season of life I was in, I always tried to figure out what was next. I used to always joke that I never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up, even as a full-grown adult. The one thing I did always know was that I wanted to be a wife and a mom. 

Once I became a mom, trying to figure out how to balance that with a career was an instant struggle. Then add in the other thing I knew for sure: God had called me to be a homeschool mom, and that struggle became even more intense. For a season while we traveled full time with kids under the age of 7, I was able to focus solely on being a stay-at-home mom. Though I did a few side hustles over the years, they were few and far between and more of a mental escape for me than a financial need. Once we entered a new season of no longer traveling and Jason working fewer hours for less pay, add in more bills, a new home in a new state, and a job for me became a necessity. 

I’ve always enjoyed working and have always put my all into whatever job I was doing. The only difference now is that above every job, the one thing that God has made incredibly clear is that I am to always make Him, our family, homeschooling our children, and our home my priorities. Over the last four years, I was able to sort of do that with real estate. Unfortunately, I often felt like I was letting work take precedence over home. I was constantly striving to look for my next client and know what was next. 

After everything we have been going through with our youngest son’s health, I have felt really torn between work and home. We need my pay to help cover medical expenses, though it barely touches them. But I have felt the Lord calling me to trust Him fully, especially with finances and work. I’ve found myself realigning my time and priorities back to what I know the Lord is calling me to do, being a homeschool mom and sharing my journey with others. Not striving and trying to make things work for a crazy busy and successful real estate career, not overworking to have my next client lined up, not spending hours at my desk or on the phone. He has always provided for us. He has shown me that over and over throughout the years. So I know He will continue to do so. Doesn’t make it less scary or less confusing. 

So though I am not really sure what is next or what exactly He has planned for me as far as work and opportunities to provide financial support to our family, I know it’s in His hands. I know he has laid it on my heart to get back to writing and sharing our journey as a family via blogging and social media. It was just time for me to take a step back and make sure I wasn’t trying to steal the pen from the author again. I’ve done that many times and it always makes life harder and pushes me further away from what’s important. So today I’m making sure that I am letting that pen stay where it belongs.