Author: Megan Wurzelbacher

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Wept

October 2024

It’s almost 1:00 AM so what am I doing up writing? I’ve always been a night owl. Turning off my brain has always been a struggle. Sometimes a welcomed quiet time. While the kids are all asleep in their beds, I enjoy the comfort of sitting up in bed while Jason sleeps next to me either reading, writing, or working in bed. Sometimes with work assignments. Sometimes planning to quiet the to-do list in my head. Sometimes to read or scroll for relaxation.  Other times to research. It could be business ideas, home design, bible studies, or anything lying heavy on my mind. This quiet, focused time has changed lately and has turned into research time for the last two years. 

It is time to learn any and everything I can about Korbin’s Arginine Vasopressin Deficiency (Diabetes Insipidus) diagnosis.  What type of treatment is available? What kind of alternatives are there? (none.) What does his prognosis of living with this disease look like? Where is the best available care or doctor for him? You name it I’ve researched it. That research then led to learning more about the causes of this rare disease. Which led me down several paths of further research. In the last year or so that has led to narrowing that research to Langerhans Cell Histiocytosis (LCH). I’ve spent night after night scouring online Histiocytosis, LCH, AVP-D /DI groups, organizations, articles, medical journals, and personal experiences. Soaking in every bit of information my mind can absorb plus some. Watching video after video. Researching oncologists, hematologists, endocrinologists, and every pediatric hospital within a 15-hour drive. 

This month waiting for doctors to return test results, phone calls, get tests, and appointments schedule has been nothing short of heavy almost to the point of feeling tortuous. As I lay here tonight scrolling and mapping out hospital trips and weighing the costs of what the future may hold with so many unknowns and so many questions I tried even in the darkness, even as I sat alone, even when I didn’t need to be strong for anyone else, I felt myself trying to hold it all in. Trying to not let the tears escape as it is so hard to control them these days. For someone who hates to cry and seems to cry for every emotion, this has been a trying time to get myself to keep it all together. 

As I felt the weight get heavier words quickly came to my mind. As I scrolled the website of yet another children’s pediatric oncology hospital. The words replay over and over. “Jesus Wept.” at first I feel comfort in thinking God is so good and kind he’s reminding me it’s okay to fall apart with the weight of the situation. That even Jesus both equally God and man wept. Thinking of the verse in the book of John 11:35. I quickly switched apps on my phone, much like my brain with all the tabs open. I opened the Bible app and read the verse to myself again. 

I thought about how Jesus knowing the full plan, knowing every detail of what had happened to his friend Lazarus and what was going to happen, He still wept. He still felt the weight of the situation.  It was still too much for him to get it together. It was in front of a crowd of people. Not in the comfort of the dark and his bed. In the day light surrounded by those who believed him and those who ridiculed him. He wept. Knowing that when he called upon his Heavenly Father asking for Him to step in and perform a miracle only possible by him for His Glory that He would do it, Jesus still wept. 

It wasn’t about his weakness. It wasn’t about lack of faith. It wasn’t about his loss of hope. It wasn’t about him being overwhelmed by sadness. It wasn’t about the sickness his friend suffered through. It wasn’t about the finality of death. It was just about his need to trust in His father’s timing. It was about his need to call out to His Heavenly Father. It was about the deep love he felt for Lazarus. It was about the sorrow he felt in that moment.

 It was about sharing it with a crowd of believers, doubters, unbelievers, and those in between.  It was about doing It all for God’s glory. So that everyone will believe. I know without a doubt that everything Korbin is going through and everything we are dealing with is because of this broken world we live in but, God! He will use every appointment. Every procedure. Every test. Every tear. Every pain. Every hard day.  Every struggle. Every part of Korbin’s story will be for God’s glory. 

John 11:40 NIV

[40] Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?”

If you’ve made it this far just know I’ve wept. I may not have all the details but I know the outcome. Korbin’s story will be used all for God’s glory.

 So for those in our “crowd”. Those who find themselves doubting. Those who don’t believe, used to believe, or don’t know what it means to believe. To those in between. 

Keep following Korbin’s story. Keep watching as we continue to call out to our Heavenly Father. Keep watching so you can see when God takes away this “stone”. We pray that through Korbin’s story you will stand here and believe. All for His Glory. 

John 11:41-42 NIV

[41] So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. [42] I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.”

Faith/

Get Ready

Get ready for a flood of posts. Writing has always been an outlet for me. It’s my favorite way to communicate effectively. It gives me the time to sit with my thoughts and feelings and get them out without rushing or causing any confusion. I get to go back and read my words to make sure they make sense and that I am saying exactly what I want to say. I can go back and edit things that seem a little too harsh or find a better way to say it. I can make sure I am not missing any part of what I am trying to convey. I talk fast. I hate small talk. I have a seriously overworked ADHD brain full of all things. So writing my thoughts has just always been the best way for me to get everything out. I often find when I am overwhelmed or over-scheduled (usually both) that while I still take the time to write I am usually just getting quick notes on my phone, writing in one of the many many journals I have, making a quick update on social media, but I am not sharing on my blog like I intend to. So then I end up with ideas and journals full of things waiting to be refined and posted. Because of everything going on with our youngest, Korbin, lately, I have piled up my collection of to-be-posted blog posts. So here they come. They may seem out of order if you follow me on social media but it is just a little back-dated mom life blogging at work. So get ready!

Faith/

Korbin’s Update

Today Korbin’s endocrinologist called with his test results. 

Unfortunately, he does have Growth Hormone Deficiency (GHD). We have been expecting this would likely be the case based off of his growth charts and his endocrinologist has been very proactive with monitoring it. 

He is also due for his next brain MRI to see if there is any change in the “thickening” of his pituitary stalk. He goes every 6 months for this. We are just waiting for the hospital to get insurance approval and to schedule that. 

So before we get started with the GH replacement we will get the results from his MRI and send those to Texas Children’s for review for the Langerhans Cell Histiocytosis (LCH), which was the reason for our initial visit there.  

Once we know for sure we are good to move forward with the GH replacement it may take some time for insurance approval. It is not uncommon for it to be denied at first. 

We are incredibly grateful for his endocrinologist and Dr. McClain at Texas Children’s for their continued guidance, thoroughly looking into all of Korbin’s symptoms, and their willingness to collaborate with each other to do what’s best for Korbin.

We are thankful to be getting answers and solutions for him to feel the best he can!  He is currently being treated for the following: 

Arginine Vasopressin Deficiency aka Diabetes Insipidus 

Growth Hormone Deficiency (we do not know for sure if this is from the AVP-D/DI which is why we are still monitoring for the LCH). 

Gilbert’s Syndrome- A separate genetic mutation unrelated to the above diagnosis.   

We appreciate all the prayers as always! 

Faith/

Not My Plans

Back home and trying to get back to our normal routine. Getting all the things done today. Getting emails sent. Getting appointments set. Checking off my to-do list.

I’ve been reading through a Bible study on the book of Habakkuk called, Not According to Plan. As a type A, planning fanatic I struggle when things are Not According to Plan, especially not according to my plan. It drives me crazy, it stresses me out, it worries me, it exhausts me. Because I know this is a major weakness of mine I try to be very diligent in remembering God is in control not me. His plan is better than mine. He has the whole picture. I barely have the next paragraph let alone the ending. So I try my best to take everything to God first before I start on the path to create my plan. Obviously, it’s always easier said than done for me.

Reading about Habakkuk and how he cried out to God and then waited for His response is such a great reminder for me to do the same. I have felt like we are stuck in limbo lately with Korbin’s health. We have done test after test and we wait and we wait. We are waiting for the oncologist to officially review his PET scan. We have some answers but most of them we already assumed and they don’t yet put us on a clear path of answers, diagnosis, and treatment.

So I find myself in my least favorite place, the unknown when it comes to, Korbin. No deadlines. No appointments on the calendar. No next steps. Just waiting in the unknown. I feel like in this place of trying to make plans yet afraid they will just have to be canceled, if we get answers and direction. In this place where nothing is going according to plan. This place where our “normal” is being interrupted. Yet just like in Habakkuk I know that God knows every detail about the battle we are facing. He knows exactly How he plans to work things for His good.

This is a reminder for me and maybe you that God is in control. God knows the entire plan. He holds every single detail in His hands. We just need to remember who He is, cling to Him, and trust Him.

I read a quote that said, “Roughly half of Jesus’ miracles were interruptions. He had a plan. He had a destination. But He was interruptible. I wonder how often we miss what God is doing because we hold too tightly to our own plans.” – Unknown.

Time to be interruptible.

Faith/

New Seasons

As another year is coming to an end many of us start thinking about our goals for the new year. We start thinking of how we can improve our health, our financial stability, and our day-to-day life. Often we get so caught up in trying to think about how much better a new season will be that we forget to stay present in the moment.

I know I am so guilty of thinking about what is coming next, how much easier the next season will be as our kids get older and more independent, and how much better work will be if I just set new goals and work a little harder. But in reality, each season brings its own hardships. As the kids grow in independence, our struggles change, they don’t disappear. With four kids ages 6-13 I am pretty sure it never gets “easier”. I will never worry less about them. If anything, those worries get bigger with more at stake. As they become more independent, I lose the bit of control (or illusion of control) that I do have.

So for this upcoming year of 2024, my goals differ from usual. Instead of focusing on what is coming ahead, I am focusing on what is in front of me right now, in this moment. I am going to focus on what God is teaching me today. I am going to focus on how I am serving God today. I am going to focus on who my children are today. I am going to focus on what we are doing as a family today. I am going to focus on where God has placed me in my career and ministry today. I will make sure that I am not trying to strive but that I am actually thriving as a daughter of the king, a wife, and a mother.

Matthew 6:34 “Therefore don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (CSB)

~Megan

Faith/

Learning to Speak Life

As parents, we teach our kids to treat others how they want to be treated. We teach them to speak kindly to others. We teach them to make good choices. However, we often forget the greatest teaching comes from modeling the behavior.

We know the power of words. Words can build up and encourage or tear down and destroy. Unfortunately, as parents, we often become passive with our words or forget the weight of the power in them. Everything we say and how we say it becomes a part of how our children speak to themselves. This then affects how they view themselves as a person. It also dictates how they treat others.

We need to be sure we are practicing what we teach to our children. Our focus should be on building up our kids with our words instead of tearing them down. Although it is often unintentional, we can easily misuse the power of our words. Being the disciplinarians, we can forget there is more to parenting than just pointing out the mistakes and where they are going wrong.  

Speak life into your children by reminding them who they are to you. Let them know how much of a gift they are to you. Share scriptures or prayers with them that you have prayed for them. Tell them you love them. Show them you are proud of them by using encouragement in areas of their passions. Even if it’s just a coloring page for your budding artist, give them praise for their hard work.

Say positive affirmations over them each morning. Tell them to repeat them aloud. Create a special time for this in your morning routine. For example, use I am statements that your child can repeat to you; I am capable; I am intelligent, etc.…

Remind your child they were created on purpose for a purpose. Encourage their identity in Christ. Use scripture to back those affirmations up. Use those scriptures to pray over your child and you could even memorize them together. For example, the affirmation could be, “I have a purpose and God has a plan”. The scripture to back that up would be Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (NIV)

By speaking life over and into our children, we can break unhealthy family cycles. We can build strong family bonds while encouraging confident and fulfilled children to spread kindness into the world.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

www.MeganWurzelbacher.com

https://www.facebook.com/meganmwurzelbacher

Faith/

5 Strategies to Make the Most of Your Time With Your Kids

When we are in the thick of motherhood, we often find ourselves counting down the hours until bedtime. Motherhood is just as equally rewarding as it is exhausting. As a mom to four children ages 5 to 12, I can totally relate. As we have entered this new season of parenting older kids instead of babies and toddlers, I can see just how fast time passes by. I no longer have little ones to rock to sleep at night. Nightly bath time routines have changed to kids taking showers with no help needed.

This new stage of parenting has been fun and rewarding in different ways. It has shown me just how important it is to soak in every moment we have with our kids. To be intentional in our time, we have discovered we need to focus on making good memories in all we do. Here are 5 strategies to make the most of your time together.

  • 1. Keep time in perspective.

It is so easy to be caught up in feeling like the days are so incredibly long. But when we look back, we can see just how fast the years slip by. To keep time in perspective, create a legacy jar. We only have 936 weeks with our children from birth to 18 years old. From the birth of your child, fill a jar with 936 marbles and each week you remove a marble. As each week passes and the marbles diminish, you will see just how quickly time is passing by. When we have a visual representation of time, we can see just how little we have.

  • 2. Pick a lane.

Where are you going to focus your time as a family? You could choose to focus on school, sports, church, friends, extended family, nuclear family, or any combination of those things. We chose to focus on the six of us in our home and church. That means if we haven’t spent quality time as family during the week due to work or other obligations, we will spend the weekend with just the six of us. This means saying no to attending other events such as birthday parties or getting together with friends. 

  • 3. Set up a date night with each child.

Make sure mom and dad are individually taking each kid on a special date night or even to just run errands together. A mom and son trip to get ice cream, just the two of you. Dad and daughter run to the grocery together but stop for a special treat from the candy store on their own.

  • 4. Family fun night.

One night a week, maybe Friday, create a family fun night. Let the kids submit ideas of what that looks like for your family. Put it on the calendar and stay consistent. Play board games, watch a movie, have a s’mores night around the fire, have a dance party, anything that will engage the whole family. Put the phones away and focus on each other.

  • 5. Say no, less.

As a control-freak myself, I often find myself saying no to my kids’ request just because it was not part of my plan. I have to make an effort to say no, less. If the kids ask for a fun snack instead of grabbing something quick say yes. If the kids want to have extra play time, say yes and join them. Then watch their faces light up!

What strategies has your family implemented to make the most of your time together?

Faith/

The Journey to You Are

This week in our She Perseveres group, we are going to start talking about our identity. In 2018, I published a short devotional sharing my journey; You Are- Trusting God to Define Who You are. So I wanted to just share a brief glimpse into how that came about.

Just a few years prior to writing my book, I had found myself struggling with my role of wife, mommy to three little ones all under the age of 5, employee, and student. Unbeknownst to me, God was going to use this tough season to teach me some valuable and life-changing lessons.

I was working outside of the full time in a law office. I worked 8-12 in the office and then I would go pick up my three littles, go home and work from home 2-6. I was also homeschooling my oldest, who was in kindergarten. I was a brand new homeschool mom who never imagined that would be part of my journey. I was in graduate school full time. Yet I still felt like I just wasn’t doing enough. I was exhausted. My husband was working 2 and sometimes 3 jobs at a time during that season of our lives. We neglected our marriage, and it showed.

I felt like I couldn’t do enough at work to be the best at what I was doing. I felt like I should be working in a better career to make more money to help support our family. I felt like I was overqualified for my job. I felt like I wasn’t spending enough time with our kids when I was in the office or on the computer either working or working on my schoolwork. I felt like I could be doing so much more for homeschooling our oldest. I felt like he needed to try all the sports and activities so he could branch out and make friends. So we were spending some evenings at practices and games. I felt like my husband, Jason, and I barely engaged in simple conversation most days. Date nights were non-existent. Quiet time to just sit and talk as a couple was non-existent. Alone time for just me, non-existent. I was drowning, completely overwhelmed, physically touched out from little ones, and felt completely inadequate and guilty for it all.  

“I, like so many others, let the things others said to me, about me, and the experiences I had decipher who I believed I was at a young age. I felt inadequate, unpopular, unloved, alone, unworthy, and devalued”.

-Megan Wurzelbacher, You Are- Trusting God to Define Who You Are

I remember our church was hosting a women’s conference. We were still pretty new at the church and I didn’t know a single person. I knew no matter how awkward I felt; I was going to that conference. I saw it as an opportunity to take a break. Just for me. To get out of the house alone. I went all alone. I sat with complete strangers. I sat, and I listened to the woman on the stage speaking. It was like she had completely read my mind. Every word about how we often feel like we can’t measure up. How we feel like we can’t possibly be the best mommy for our babies. How we feel like we can’t balance it all. How we feel like we are letting at least someone down at all times. How we feel like will never be enough. How we feel like we are completely inadequate. So we stop. We stop trying. We stop showing up. We stop believing in who we are. We stop trusting in who God is. We stop and let the overwhelming feelings consume us. We stop and let the enemy’s lies hold us back.

That day, I so clearly knew God was calling me to share my journey with other women. He was calling me to share the real struggles. Because for the first time, I realized I wasn’t alone. I wasn’t the only woman struggling with these feelings. To stop hiding everything I was holding in. To open up and share what I was feeling like. To let my husband know why I was feeling so disconnected and touched out. To stop focusing on my success in a career when I should be focusing on the ministry within the four walls of my home. I knew I was supposed to be homeschooling and only focusing on that. Not on building a successful counseling career or going to law school like I had planned for the next step. I knew he had called me to minister to other women by being open about my journey and struggles. I just didn’t know how that was going to happen, what it would look like, or when it would start.

That year, I dived into scripture more than I ever had in my entire life. I did every bible study possible. Read every book about women’s bible study I could. I spent every free moment I had reading my Bible. If Jason or the kids were watching TV, I would get my Bible out to read. If the kids were napping, I would get my Bible out and read. If the kids were playing dress up and the laundry and dishes were piled up, I read my Bible. I had never felt so close to God up to the point of my relationship with Him.

A few months later, I lost my job. We had no idea how we were going to make it without my income. Then, God. An opportunity came up at Jason’s job for a promotion that required traveling. We sold our house and spent the next 5 years traveling on the road with him full time. It was during that time when God called me to write a devotional, sharing a glimpse of my journey for other women and specifically busy moms. The part of my journey he wanted to share was what I had come to realize was what affected every aspect of my life and every choice I had made up to that point: my identity. I had learned so much in the 3 years after that women’s conference about my true identity that it was time to share.

As seasons have changed, careers have changed, states have changed, and my relationship with God has continued to flourish, I have learned even more about my identity and the identity of Christian women. Now as I enter yet another season of life, God has called me back to something he stirred in my heart over 8 years ago, to coach women by starting with reminding them of who they are because of whose they are. I hope you will join me on this journey!

Faith/

Differently

Talking with the kids this morning and just feeling so incredibly thankful for a decision Jason and I made years ago.
A decision to do things differently.
Differently from everyone we know.
We decided our family would focus on God first and then us, what we call the Special Six.
We decided our marriage would be a priority above all other personal relationships, including our kids.
We decided love is a choice and one that we will continue to make, even when things get hard.
We decided to recognize life is short and every moment counts. Letting go of the small and petty things truly makes a difference. Always make good memories.
We decided we would talk to our kids in an age-appropriate manner without sugarcoating things or making them feel less than for being kids.
We decided the financial and career sacrifices of homeschooling compared to the extra 17,280 hours we get with our children are worth it.
We decided we would openly communicate with our kids about any and everything. No matter how awkward those conversations may be. No matter how small or how big the issue is, we will talk about it all.
We decided to keep our children safe by removing ourselves from situations and people we used to enjoy spending time with.
We decided to teach our children body safety, including the real names of all body parts. We placed rules in their lives to break generational abuse cycles. Even if that means the loss of family relationships. Even if they tell someone close to them, they don’t want a hug. We teach them that’s their choice and to do what makes them comfortable.
We decided to allow and encourage our children to speak about what is on their minds with us, with kids, and with other adults.
We decided to be the same people both in and outside of the home, always keeping it real.
We decided to teach them God’s word and what faith is, but more importantly, show them based on our own actions.
We decided to always be honest with our children and each other about everything.
We decided to create healthy boundaries within our own lives as well as our children’s lives.
We decided to do things differently regardless of how that makes others feel.
We decided to do things differently regardless of the opinions of others.
We decided to do things differently regardless of others’ dislike for our unconventional decisions.
We decided to do things differently regardless of the loss of relationships.
We decided to do things differently regardless of the lack of understanding from others.
We decided to be a healthy, loving, family that is focused on God and each other above all others.
Today I am so incredibly thankful that we decided.




Faith/

Relationship Not Religion

As we begin to dive into relationships, I feel it is very important to first start with the most important relationship we should all have as a part of our lives; the personal relationship we have with God. I grew up in a Christian home and attended church every chance we had. I was saved at a young age and thought I knew what being a Christian meant. It was not until years later that I finally began to understand the difference between being religious and actually having a personal relationship with God.

Over, the last 12 years, I have been on a personal journey to discover what being a Christian actually means. I have learned how to grow in my personal relationship with God. This has completely changed my life and, therefore, my relationships with others. As I continue to discover what God is calling me to do, one thing I know he has placed on my heart is to share with you how to develop your relationship with God. I want to share with you how you too can replace the check boxes of religion with having a true intentional and life-changing relationship with God.

I have an educational background in psychology and human services focused on marriage and family counseling. I also worked in Family Relations Law for over 7 years. God has been calling my focus back into that area of helping guide others in their relationships. Part of that includes creating courses to help coach and mentor others in the most important relationships of their lives; their personal relationship with God, their future spouse, their spouse, and their children.

Because we can’t work on any other relationship in our lives without first focusing on our relationship with God, that brings me to my first mini-course. I wish I would have had a relationship with God beginner’s course or being a Christian 101 when I first started on my own journey. That is what led me to create Relationship Not Religion-Having an Intentional Relationship with God and Understanding Salvation. Because I want everyone to have the opportunity to hear about Jesus and how to have this incredible relationship with God, this course will be available on my website and it will be FREE! I can’t wait to share with you all God has been teaching me and to see you grow in your faith. Be sure to subscribe on my home page and stay up to date to all that is coming, including the release date of Relationship Not Religion-Having an Intentional Relationship with God and Understanding Salvation.

-Megan

https://www.meganwurzelbacher.com/