Author: Megan Wurzelbacher

Faith/

Cultivating A Heart of Gratitude

When you have four kids, homeschool, it’s the holiday season, the weather is cooler, and your kids have been sick you can pretty much guarantee that everyone will be a little annoyed with each other. Something about being cooped up in the house and off our regular schedule that really messes with our attitudes. The timing couldn’t have been better since it was Thanksgiving we were celebrating. But I noticed that kindness, nice words, and joy have been in short supply lately.

 It’s so easy for me to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life. Being that I’m just naturally realistic and task-focused, I can very easily put feelings, empathy, and joy on the back burner. I’ve realized that this tendency can create a challenging atmosphere, add in the stir-crazy kiddos and everyone in our house has been a little negative. 

It was clear that we needed to shift our focus and cultivate a heart of gratitude within our family.

So last week I had heard enough bickering from the kids and decided to stop everything we were doing and focus on what God’s word said about our struggles. We began by sitting down for an open discussion. I encouraged everyone to share their feelings, thoughts, or anything they wanted to express. This was a safe space for the kids to voice their concerns and frustrations. 

Following our discussion, I led a Bible study about the power of our words and how we treat others. We reflected on the profound impact our words can have, and how kindness can transform not only our interactions but also our inner feelings. 

One poignant moment came when we talked about the concept of “the last time.” I reminded them that we never know when the last time will be that we play cards together, run through the trees with gel blasters, or enjoy a family movie night as a family of 6. I shared my memories of carrying them to bed in their little swaddle sleepers, singing them to sleep with twinkle twinkle twinkle little star,  and giving them bubble baths before bed. All while not realizing which time would be the last time I would do those things as their mama. Every day brings new growth, and seasons go by so quickly. This reflection made it clear: every moment counts, and it’s essential to cherish them.

We also explored the idea that gratitude can be found in the small, mundane aspects of our lives. Waking up in a warm home, having our basic needs met, and the privilege of homeschooling allows us to build deep relationships, as siblings are all gifts that deserve our appreciation. Even if it’s during the season of us being home more due to sickness. 

As we discussed these points, a shift began to occur. The kids started to express gratitude for the little things, and I noticed a change in their demeanor. It reminded me that true joy comes not from our circumstances but from a heart filled with gratitude.

Cultivating a heart of gratitude is a journey that requires effort and intention. It’s about recognizing the beauty in everyday moments and cherishing them as if they were the last. It’s about understanding that true joy stems from our personal relationship with Jesus. As we become more aware of our blessings and express gratitude for them, we open our hearts to the joy that God has in store for us. 

Faith/

Not What You’d Expect

I recently shared this post on my social media just to let others know that I’m not what you’d expect when you ask who I am. 

Imagine I tell you I am a Jesus-loving homeschool mom and you think I’m an oppressed want-to-be Tradwife stuck in my kitchen while my kids read classic literature and are sheltered all day listening to classical music. Meanwhile, if you stop by today… I’m living for staying home, cooking Thanksgiving dinner in my Dolly t-shirt. While my daughter practices her tattoo skills and we are bumping our Playlist from Forest Frank,  KB, The Judds, and Usher.  All while teaching my kids to cook like my southern mamaws and how to dance the Tootsie Roll at the same time.

Happy Wednesday

Jason Wurzelbacher thanks for all you put up with

I shared it because I feel like thanks to social media and our culture, we are quickly put into one box or another because of our beliefs, the choices we make, and the values we hold. We are quick to judge others who do anything differently than we do. Then we form opinions about them on the little we may know about them. Especially when it comes to parenting and how we raise our families. 

I’ve always been careful when sharing anything about my life that I am honest, realistic, and not worrying about what others think. I’ve also talked about over and over again the way social media creates so many false narratives, as people are afraid to share their reality. Instead, they try to curate this perfect narrative of their life and make it look like everyone else expects them to. Enter every social media mom influencer with the exact same style, hair extensions, decor, you name it. Sharing only our best moments, our highlight reels, sets an unrealistic standard for us, those around us, and for the generations to come. 

I never want my kids to think I am a perfect mom and that I never struggle or that I want to be like everyone else. I don’t even want that kind of power even if it was a real thing. Giving the impression that I have it all together and everything is happy and perfect all the time makes it seem like I don’t help. Like I’m all good. Like I have all the answers. Like I don’t need a savior. I never want that to be an impression I leave for anyone but especially not my own kids. I am a broken hot mess and I need saving, I need grace, I need wisdom, I need mercy, every single day, every single moment. I need Jesus and I want everyone to know that. 

I also want our sons and our daughter to know that if their family decides to be different than those around them because they feel like that’s what God is calling them to do, they have the strength and ability to do so. I want them to know if that means that they focus less on a successful career and more on a deep faith in the Lord that they are making the right decision. I want them to know that if they trade financial wealth for more time together as a family, they are making the right decision. I want them to know if that means that they are simply doing things differently, they are probably doing it right. 

I’m so thankful that God has instilled confidence in me and in Jason that has allowed us to do things differently. I am so glad that we are not what you’d expect as a family of six that loves Jesus. Stick around to get to know us even more and hopefully, we can inspire you to do things differently.

Faith/

Seasons

I overuse the term seasons. I am fully aware of that. Whether I am writing or talking, say it all the time. I was recently working with a sweet couple that I am doing some pre-marital coaching with and left our meeting thinking, man I am pretty sure I say the word seasons like fifty times. But I just can’t seem to find another term that can replace it with the same meaning. 

Because so many parts, stages, and times of our lives are just like seasons. You can count on them happening. You know they are coming. Sometimes you just don’t know the exact date. You know some are better than others. Sometimes they are harder than others. But you also know they don’t last forever. 

Our family’s current season has been a new one for us all. As I have mentioned in my recent post, we are in a season of going through unexpected health issues with our youngest son. It has made a major impact on our entire family. We are also in this new season of being in the middle stage of parenting. Our kids are ages 7, 10, 12, and 14. We no longer have babies or toddlers running around. That saying the days are long and the years are short is sadly more and more evident each day. 

It’s such a bittersweet thing to experience your kids going from completely dependent on you to doing so many things on their own. Some of those things come as a relief, as I am no longer changing diapers or just doing all the things for everyone every day. Some of those things I miss, like giving bubble baths to our babies while they splash around, barely able to sit up on their own. Knowing that everything they do each day may be the last time I do it with them, without realizing that exact last time is hard. But as our kids grow we enter into this new SEASON with them that is equally special. As they are able to communicate more in-depth with us and as we watch their bond as siblings grow, it has truly been a gift. 

On the other hand, we are entering this teen and pre-teen life that brings hormones, big feelings, and so many emotions for all of us. I remember what middle school and high school were like for me and it was fun but also incredibly hard and exhausting at times. So trying to balance being the disciplinarian as the parent and being emotionally available to them can be difficult. 

The biggest thing I have learned to keep at the forefront of my mind, especially during those lovely spurts of disrespect and eye rolls, is that they have valid feelings and they are also trying to learn how to work through them at the same time. During this new season, I have found an immediate need for more communication. Of course, we are not a picture-perfect family, by any means. So we have more moments of contention and blow-ups and then we say, oh hey we should have talked about this before we let our emotions take over. We have spent more time talking through situations and through feelings than was necessary or even possible in those earlier years. 

Something we have been using that has been incredibly helpful is a feelings wheel. Now don’t get all weirded out on me. I know that sounds so odd. But it’s simply a piece of paper that I printed off that I found online. It was from a Bible-based teen magazine. It breaks down some basic feelings into some deeper ones. It has helped the kids connect what they are feeling and get down to where the behavior they are showing is actually stemming from. We have been talking a lot about our feelings and how they are indicators and not dictators in hopes of helping to give the kids the tools they need to work through their emotions and thoughts. 

As we continue to encounter new experiences and new emotions in this season of middle parenting, we have approached it with the same goals in mind as usual. We want to have children who always depend on God and know to prioritize that relationship first and foremost. We want them to run to him for everything. We also want them to know how important our relationship as their parents is and how important their relationship as siblings are. We want them to continue to grow into healthy individuals no matter what season we are in. 

So even on the hard days and on the days when we feel like we are getting it all wrong as parents, it’s important to remember that it’s all just a season and it will not last forever. 

Faith/

What’s Next

As a planner and Type A person, I have always needed the comfort of knowing what’s next. Having a to-do list, a calendar, and a way to map everything out and know what’s coming brings me comfort and makes my brain feel at ease. Oddly enough, my natural desires and tendencies are the exact opposite definition of faith. 

I’ve always tried doing things my own way and having that plan mapped out included having backup plans. No matter what season of life I was in, I always tried to figure out what was next. I used to always joke that I never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up, even as a full-grown adult. The one thing I did always know was that I wanted to be a wife and a mom. 

Once I became a mom, trying to figure out how to balance that with a career was an instant struggle. Then add in the other thing I knew for sure: God had called me to be a homeschool mom, and that struggle became even more intense. For a season while we traveled full time with kids under the age of 7, I was able to focus solely on being a stay-at-home mom. Though I did a few side hustles over the years, they were few and far between and more of a mental escape for me than a financial need. Once we entered a new season of no longer traveling and Jason working fewer hours for less pay, add in more bills, a new home in a new state, and a job for me became a necessity. 

I’ve always enjoyed working and have always put my all into whatever job I was doing. The only difference now is that above every job, the one thing that God has made incredibly clear is that I am to always make Him, our family, homeschooling our children, and our home my priorities. Over the last four years, I was able to sort of do that with real estate. Unfortunately, I often felt like I was letting work take precedence over home. I was constantly striving to look for my next client and know what was next. 

After everything we have been going through with our youngest son’s health, I have felt really torn between work and home. We need my pay to help cover medical expenses, though it barely touches them. But I have felt the Lord calling me to trust Him fully, especially with finances and work. I’ve found myself realigning my time and priorities back to what I know the Lord is calling me to do, being a homeschool mom and sharing my journey with others. Not striving and trying to make things work for a crazy busy and successful real estate career, not overworking to have my next client lined up, not spending hours at my desk or on the phone. He has always provided for us. He has shown me that over and over throughout the years. So I know He will continue to do so. Doesn’t make it less scary or less confusing. 

So though I am not really sure what is next or what exactly He has planned for me as far as work and opportunities to provide financial support to our family, I know it’s in His hands. I know he has laid it on my heart to get back to writing and sharing our journey as a family via blogging and social media. It was just time for me to take a step back and make sure I wasn’t trying to steal the pen from the author again. I’ve done that many times and it always makes life harder and pushes me further away from what’s important. So today I’m making sure that I am letting that pen stay where it belongs. 

Faith/

Life Lately

I feel like for more than the past year anytime anyone would ask how we are, or what our family has been up to I always answer the same, busy. Unfortunately, that busy got in the way of some things that I enjoy doing, one of which is writing. I have always used writing as my way to express myself and it’s often been a therapeutic tool for me. I also have been in various seasons where other’s writing has got me through good, hard, and really bad places. So I have always thought of writing as a way to connect with and help others. 

As a homeschool mom who also has been working as a real estate agent along with several other side hustles, writing just became a hobby that I didn’t have time for. Which honestly is so unfortunate because writing has always been more than that for me. It is one of my passions and something I feel like God has called me to do. Until recently, I had not seen my avoiding taking the time to write as something that was also me being disobedient to God’s calling in my life. 

Over the last two years, one of the reasons life has felt busier than usual, we have been dealing with a lot of unexpected health issues with our youngest son. When he was five years old, he was diagnosed with arginine vasopressin deficiency, also known as diabetes insipidus. Our little guy has been incredibly brave with all his new normal consist of but it has been hard on him and our entire family.  We recently went to Texas Children’s Hospital to see a specialist as we have been trying to find the cause of his AVP-D/DI and looking for an explanation of some of his daily symptoms. One of the causes we are trying to learn more about is called Langerhans Cell Histiocytosis, which is a type of cancer. While both diseases are complicated and hard to understand, we are very hopeful and have an unexplainable peace that is only from the Lord. 

While we didn’t get a clear answer either way on whether Korbin has LCH, he will continually be monitored for at least the next 7 years for this,  we did learn a new diagnosis that explains some of his other symptoms. We learned that in addition to his AVP-D/DI, he also has a genetic mutation causing a liver disease called Gilbert’s Syndrome. Because of all the amazing people in our lives who have been offering prayers and support throughout this journey with Korbin, I have been updating via social media after each test and doctor’s appointment. Because of that, I’ve slowly been making time to write again. Sharing our journey in hopes of shedding light and hope on other’s lives. While we are still in the midst of this medical diagnosis journey with Korbin we know that God is creating a story and testimony for him that he will one day get to use as an opportunity to share the Gospel with others. 

I’ve always felt like God was calling me to share my journey with others through my writing. Through various seasons of life, God has used both the good and the devastating to draw me closer to him. I have felt that connection to writing again, even though it has just been in short social media posts updating about Korbin.  If my writing and often oversharing can do the same for just one person, then I feel like I have done what he has called me to do. So here is to the start of making sure that my writing and sharing are a priority again. 

Faith/

The Special Six

If you know anything about Jason & I,  everything we do is for our kids. Jason calls us the Special Six. From the beginning of our marriage, we have always known that having kids was our top priority. We also had conversation after conversation about what that would look like, how we would raise our kids, and our goals as a family.  Many of those conversations came from our own experiences, both good and bad; how we would do things similar to our childhood and how we would do things differently. I think every parent could agree they have had similar thoughts and conversations. 

Wanting to do things differently than how we were raised or than the experiences we had as a child isn’t always a knock to our parents or families. Looking back over the generations it seems every generation of parents change how they parent based on their experiences, trying to do more or do better than what they experienced. If we look back at our parents’ experience we can see that they were parenting in a way that was to their own capacity. Often as parents we are growing up at the same time as we are learning to be parents. 

Over the years we have made many parenting decisions that not everyone understands or agrees with. We have and continue to make good decisions and bad decisions as parents. As we have grown as adults, husband and wife, and as Christians our parenting style and decisions have also grown. We are always open and honest with our kids. We often tell them that we are far from the perfect parents and that while we are trying our best to do right by them. One day they too will look back and see things we did as parents and want to do things differently with their own children. We hope they do. We hope they continue to do better and give their own children more (emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and financially) than we can imagine. 

I was recently listening to a podcast that was talking about a book, that I need to order and read! The book talks about how our decisions as parents can have such an impact on not only our children but every generation to come. Specifically, the authors were speaking about how if you have four children by the time your family gets to their tenth generation you could have around 55,000 descendants. So I sent a text to Jason and jokingly yet seriously said hey we could impact this not just 4 kids but possibly 55,000, so you know no pressure or anything! But doesn’t that just put your role as parents into perspective of just how important it truly is? Not only how we can impact our future generations in this life but also how we can impact their relationship with the Lord and their faith in general. 

While we are always making mistakes as parents we are also learning and growing. Our goals as parents are to raise children who are spiritually, mentally, emotionally, relationally, and physically healthy.  We pray that they desire to have a relationship with God,  that they will continually grow in their faith, and that they will make Jesus the most important relationship they have. We pray that they become successful in whatever career aligns with God’s will for their lives. We pray that they continue to have a close and loving relationship with us as their parents and with their siblings. We pray that they find the spouse God has for them so they too can enjoy a long and healthy marriage. We pray that if they have children they create an amazing and healthy relationship with them. We pray that they will continue to build a legacy for our family that reflects the Gospel to others generations after generations. We pray that they understand every decision we made as parents was for them to never walk away from their relationship with God and to have a childhood they don’t have to heal from. We pray that our tenth generation can feel the effects of the effort we put into the Special Six. 

Faith/

Wept

October 2024

It’s almost 1:00 AM so what am I doing up writing? I’ve always been a night owl. Turning off my brain has always been a struggle. Sometimes a welcomed quiet time. While the kids are all asleep in their beds, I enjoy the comfort of sitting up in bed while Jason sleeps next to me either reading, writing, or working in bed. Sometimes with work assignments. Sometimes planning to quiet the to-do list in my head. Sometimes to read or scroll for relaxation.  Other times to research. It could be business ideas, home design, bible studies, or anything lying heavy on my mind. This quiet, focused time has changed lately and has turned into research time for the last two years. 

It is time to learn any and everything I can about Korbin’s Arginine Vasopressin Deficiency (Diabetes Insipidus) diagnosis.  What type of treatment is available? What kind of alternatives are there? (none.) What does his prognosis of living with this disease look like? Where is the best available care or doctor for him? You name it I’ve researched it. That research then led to learning more about the causes of this rare disease. Which led me down several paths of further research. In the last year or so that has led to narrowing that research to Langerhans Cell Histiocytosis (LCH). I’ve spent night after night scouring online Histiocytosis, LCH, AVP-D /DI groups, organizations, articles, medical journals, and personal experiences. Soaking in every bit of information my mind can absorb plus some. Watching video after video. Researching oncologists, hematologists, endocrinologists, and every pediatric hospital within a 15-hour drive. 

This month waiting for doctors to return test results, phone calls, get tests, and appointments schedule has been nothing short of heavy almost to the point of feeling tortuous. As I lay here tonight scrolling and mapping out hospital trips and weighing the costs of what the future may hold with so many unknowns and so many questions I tried even in the darkness, even as I sat alone, even when I didn’t need to be strong for anyone else, I felt myself trying to hold it all in. Trying to not let the tears escape as it is so hard to control them these days. For someone who hates to cry and seems to cry for every emotion, this has been a trying time to get myself to keep it all together. 

As I felt the weight get heavier words quickly came to my mind. As I scrolled the website of yet another children’s pediatric oncology hospital. The words replay over and over. “Jesus Wept.” at first I feel comfort in thinking God is so good and kind he’s reminding me it’s okay to fall apart with the weight of the situation. That even Jesus both equally God and man wept. Thinking of the verse in the book of John 11:35. I quickly switched apps on my phone, much like my brain with all the tabs open. I opened the Bible app and read the verse to myself again. 

I thought about how Jesus knowing the full plan, knowing every detail of what had happened to his friend Lazarus and what was going to happen, He still wept. He still felt the weight of the situation.  It was still too much for him to get it together. It was in front of a crowd of people. Not in the comfort of the dark and his bed. In the day light surrounded by those who believed him and those who ridiculed him. He wept. Knowing that when he called upon his Heavenly Father asking for Him to step in and perform a miracle only possible by him for His Glory that He would do it, Jesus still wept. 

It wasn’t about his weakness. It wasn’t about lack of faith. It wasn’t about his loss of hope. It wasn’t about him being overwhelmed by sadness. It wasn’t about the sickness his friend suffered through. It wasn’t about the finality of death. It was just about his need to trust in His father’s timing. It was about his need to call out to His Heavenly Father. It was about the deep love he felt for Lazarus. It was about the sorrow he felt in that moment.

 It was about sharing it with a crowd of believers, doubters, unbelievers, and those in between.  It was about doing It all for God’s glory. So that everyone will believe. I know without a doubt that everything Korbin is going through and everything we are dealing with is because of this broken world we live in but, God! He will use every appointment. Every procedure. Every test. Every tear. Every pain. Every hard day.  Every struggle. Every part of Korbin’s story will be for God’s glory. 

John 11:40 NIV

[40] Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?”

If you’ve made it this far just know I’ve wept. I may not have all the details but I know the outcome. Korbin’s story will be used all for God’s glory.

 So for those in our “crowd”. Those who find themselves doubting. Those who don’t believe, used to believe, or don’t know what it means to believe. To those in between. 

Keep following Korbin’s story. Keep watching as we continue to call out to our Heavenly Father. Keep watching so you can see when God takes away this “stone”. We pray that through Korbin’s story you will stand here and believe. All for His Glory. 

John 11:41-42 NIV

[41] So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. [42] I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.”

Faith/

Get Ready

Get ready for a flood of posts. Writing has always been an outlet for me. It’s my favorite way to communicate effectively. It gives me the time to sit with my thoughts and feelings and get them out without rushing or causing any confusion. I get to go back and read my words to make sure they make sense and that I am saying exactly what I want to say. I can go back and edit things that seem a little too harsh or find a better way to say it. I can make sure I am not missing any part of what I am trying to convey. I talk fast. I hate small talk. I have a seriously overworked ADHD brain full of all things. So writing my thoughts has just always been the best way for me to get everything out. I often find when I am overwhelmed or over-scheduled (usually both) that while I still take the time to write I am usually just getting quick notes on my phone, writing in one of the many many journals I have, making a quick update on social media, but I am not sharing on my blog like I intend to. So then I end up with ideas and journals full of things waiting to be refined and posted. Because of everything going on with our youngest, Korbin, lately, I have piled up my collection of to-be-posted blog posts. So here they come. They may seem out of order if you follow me on social media but it is just a little back-dated mom life blogging at work. So get ready!

Faith/

Korbin’s Update

Today Korbin’s endocrinologist called with his test results. 

Unfortunately, he does have Growth Hormone Deficiency (GHD). We have been expecting this would likely be the case based off of his growth charts and his endocrinologist has been very proactive with monitoring it. 

He is also due for his next brain MRI to see if there is any change in the “thickening” of his pituitary stalk. He goes every 6 months for this. We are just waiting for the hospital to get insurance approval and to schedule that. 

So before we get started with the GH replacement we will get the results from his MRI and send those to Texas Children’s for review for the Langerhans Cell Histiocytosis (LCH), which was the reason for our initial visit there.  

Once we know for sure we are good to move forward with the GH replacement it may take some time for insurance approval. It is not uncommon for it to be denied at first. 

We are incredibly grateful for his endocrinologist and Dr. McClain at Texas Children’s for their continued guidance, thoroughly looking into all of Korbin’s symptoms, and their willingness to collaborate with each other to do what’s best for Korbin.

We are thankful to be getting answers and solutions for him to feel the best he can!  He is currently being treated for the following: 

Arginine Vasopressin Deficiency aka Diabetes Insipidus 

Growth Hormone Deficiency (we do not know for sure if this is from the AVP-D/DI which is why we are still monitoring for the LCH). 

Gilbert’s Syndrome- A separate genetic mutation unrelated to the above diagnosis.   

We appreciate all the prayers as always! 

Faith/

Not My Plans

Back home and trying to get back to our normal routine. Getting all the things done today. Getting emails sent. Getting appointments set. Checking off my to-do list.

I’ve been reading through a Bible study on the book of Habakkuk called, Not According to Plan. As a type A, planning fanatic I struggle when things are Not According to Plan, especially not according to my plan. It drives me crazy, it stresses me out, it worries me, it exhausts me. Because I know this is a major weakness of mine I try to be very diligent in remembering God is in control not me. His plan is better than mine. He has the whole picture. I barely have the next paragraph let alone the ending. So I try my best to take everything to God first before I start on the path to create my plan. Obviously, it’s always easier said than done for me.

Reading about Habakkuk and how he cried out to God and then waited for His response is such a great reminder for me to do the same. I have felt like we are stuck in limbo lately with Korbin’s health. We have done test after test and we wait and we wait. We are waiting for the oncologist to officially review his PET scan. We have some answers but most of them we already assumed and they don’t yet put us on a clear path of answers, diagnosis, and treatment.

So I find myself in my least favorite place, the unknown when it comes to, Korbin. No deadlines. No appointments on the calendar. No next steps. Just waiting in the unknown. I feel like in this place of trying to make plans yet afraid they will just have to be canceled, if we get answers and direction. In this place where nothing is going according to plan. This place where our “normal” is being interrupted. Yet just like in Habakkuk I know that God knows every detail about the battle we are facing. He knows exactly How he plans to work things for His good.

This is a reminder for me and maybe you that God is in control. God knows the entire plan. He holds every single detail in His hands. We just need to remember who He is, cling to Him, and trust Him.

I read a quote that said, “Roughly half of Jesus’ miracles were interruptions. He had a plan. He had a destination. But He was interruptible. I wonder how often we miss what God is doing because we hold too tightly to our own plans.” – Unknown.

Time to be interruptible.