Author: Megan Wurzelbacher

Faith/

Let Go, Let God

Today’s Office Space
Our backyard
I’m incredibly grateful for the opportunities God continues to give our family. Today school is done, work is going well, Jason received good news at his job, we have a beautiful yard to allow the kids to play and for me to work outside.
As I’m looking around I’m reminded how God not only provides but if I just get out of my own way he shows up with his Plan that is so much more than I could have even thought possible.
I always struggle with letting go and letting God.
I’m a serious planner aka control freak despite that I always say I trust God and I trust His plan. But then on the backend, I’m always grasping onto everything trying to make things go my way. Which only discounts God’s plan and who He is. Obviously, I know my plans and my way could never compare to the amazing things God has in store yet it’s a daily struggle.
So I’ve been really focusing on taking everything to God and waiting in prayer instead of holding on to every detail only to feel overwhelmed and lost. He continues to show me He is all I need to focus on.
As long as we are focusing on Him the rest falls into place, just how he intended it to. Does that mean every day is full of rainbows and butterflies absolutely not. But when I let go and let His plan play out the end result is always so much better than what I could have done.
So here’s your (and mine) reminder to fully trust God. If it’s in business, family, school, relationships, travel, or housework, doesn’t matter, nothing is too small or too big for God. Just put Him first and focus on Him.
Faith/

Mama On A Mission

Being a mom is one of the toughest if not the toughest jobs there are.

It is demanding in every way possible; physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and financially.

But it is also the most rewarding calling.

Growing up I never really knew the answer to the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up”. Many years later and with one undergraduate degree, one graduate degree, plus many other vocational certificates, licenses, and training programs and I would always joke and say I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I’ve always been multi-passionate which I think is just a fancy term that confirms my ADHD.

However, I did always know I wanted to be a mom but I never saw that as substantial enough to be a job on its own. I mean obviously, there is no paycheck so it couldn’t hold the same value as a career. At least that’s how our society and our world portray it.

Once I found a career in real estate I actually felt like this was the job for me. Especially when my brokerage allows me to work remotely from home. It felt like a win-win. I could bring home a paycheck, I could be home with my kids, I could still homeschool them, and I could still be the wife at home taking care of the household.

But I still found myself feeling pulled in every direction. Feeling like any success in one area of life meant I was failing in another. So if a business was my focus and things were going great then that was time taken from my kids, those were nights of working instead of one on one time with my husband, those were nights of no sleep and days full of piled up kitchen counters and laundry piles. If I was spending extra time focusing on my kids, the housework, my marriage, myself then that meant business was slow and paychecks were less and finances were tight.

The weight of it all was becoming too much. Finally, God intervened and opened my eyes. He reminded me of who I am and whose I am. I find it seriously ironic that I had lost sight of all this when I have written a book titled, You Are Trusting God to Define Who You Are. Oh yeah, I also like to write and published a book and have another one I will finish…one day.

I had gotten so caught up in the way the world views my roles and my success I had forgotten something God has taught me so many times before. My identity is in Him. He determines my roles. He determines my success. He is in control. I just need to be faithful and obedient. I need to trust in Him fully.

Recently I have been trying to figure out ways to balance it all better and to be successful in all aspects of my life. After prayer, bible study, podcasts, youtube videos, Pinterest posts, and every other available source of information He showed me what I was doing wrong.

I was caught up in doing things the way others expect me to do them. Not how God has laid them out and planned them specifically for me.

There is a quote and I’ve shared it on social media multiple times before because it speaks so much truth to my inner struggle.

“We expect women to work like they don’t have children and raise children as if they don’t work”.

I don’t work just for financial benefit. I work because it fulfills a part of me that God created in me, on purpose. My work does not give me purpose. My God gives me purpose.

We chose to homeschool for many reasons but one of the main reasons we have continued over the years is to create a family bond that is unique in that we are together so many hours (okay let’s be real… all the hours) in a day. I cherish the time I have at home with my kids especially as we are about to have our oldest say goodbye to his elementary years this summer. It goes by incredibly too fast.

So all of this to say we are making changes in our home and my business. What’s a better way to teach our kids how to live a life built on faith and obedience to God than to show them firsthand. I will be integrating my career and my role as a mother even more than before. My four assistants are being promoted to my four business partners. They will be around while I’m working not quieted in another room. I will no longer shy from posting social media videos to grow my business because I have four kids running around in the background. They will be helping me create my business marketing materials. (Kanen was up for the task already this week as he’s super excited to make more Facebook posts) . They will be interrupting virtual meetings. They will be laughing in the background of important phone calls. They will be present and I will be present with them. They are the most important part of my day and why not show them that every chance I get. That doesn’t mean I will fail as a Realtor or businesswoman. It only pushes me to show them how we can do anything in life as long as we are trusting God and stepping out in obedience to what he has called us to do.

I’m not just a mom. I’m not just an entrepreneur. I’m not just a realtor. I’m not just a housewife. I’m just who God created me to be which is a multi-tasking, multi-passionate, mama on a mission who is incredibly grateful for all the blessings in my life.

So be ready for all things Jesus, Real Estate, Homeschool, Housewife, and Chaos Coordinator related and enjoy whatever loud live videos and blooper reels are headed your way.

www.meganwurzelbacher.com

www.MeganWurzelbacher.eXpRealty.com

 

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Legacy of Faith

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” Deuteronomy  6:5-7 (ESV)

Two weeks ago our family suffered the devastating loss of our Mamaw. I am incredibly thankful for all the time I had with her as she would’ve turned 88 next month. But despite the memories I have the loss was so hard; thinking of how much she will miss in our lives and in our children’s lives. My heart was completely broken having to say goodbye to her.

I spent most weekends and summers with my Mamaw and Papaw growing up. They lived near my childhood home. Every weekend my entire family would gather at their home for food and just to spend time together. The house was always loud, full and chaotic full of memories and fun. Most all vacation memories included them as well as spending time at their place on the river in Indiana and trips to Gatlinburg, Kentucky, to get ice cream just because after dinner, and other road trips.

As I grew older the relationship, I had with my grandparents changed but we were closer in a new way. I would visit them often. Continuing to spend the night at their home even after they moved back home to Kentucky. I called them at least weekly just to keep in touch with them and hear their voices. They were always so easy to talk to and just enjoy sitting in their living room. As I watched the two of them in the matching recliners watching some terrible tv show or blasting the news as loud as could be so my Papaw could write his notes about current events in his notebooks he kept; while she would be hand stitching a quilt to give to someone in the family or hemming pants. We would talk about everything and anything and especially about the Bible and church even when it was not a priority in my life.

In July 2010 we suffered the loss of my Papaw. Though we knew his health was declining it was too a devasting loss for our family and especially for my Mamaw. She had spent her life devoted to my Papaw. If you knew him you would know that was a job within itself haha! She was by his side as a Pastor’s wife, a working mom of four, and later as a stay-at-home wife in their retired season of life. She catered to him at home for his every need. They went everywhere together, even if that meant he sat in the car while she tried on clothes and shopped at every Goodwill in town. Second to the Lord, he was her whole world.

Ever since he passed away she was ready for it to be her turn to go home, to Heaven. Mamaw was so lonely after Papaw passed away she would come to visit at my parents’ home. Eventually, she moved in with my parents.  I am so thankful for that extra time we got to have with her. Because we homeschool and traveled for five years we were able to take time whenever Jason was in different states visiting and staying with her at her home or at my parents’ home once she moved. The kids spent days breaking up beans from the garden with her, making buckeyes in the kitchen, watching her sew quilts, and fixing stuffed animals for them. We spent time watching Hallmark movies together every year around Christmas. Listening to her tell stories of her past and of our family heritage.

The bond we had and the bond she had with my children was a unique one for a grandmother and great-grandmother. One I know was a rare gift that many people are not able to have.  Of all the memories and all the things, I am most grateful for her Legacy of Faith.

Because Papaw and Mamaw’s faith being a priority in their life they passed it down to their children and grandchildren. Psalm 78:4 “We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done.” (ESV)

Her relationship with Jesus was so important to her that she had even prepared a letter to be read at her funeral for all the family to hear. My dad read her words for us all to hear at the funeral. She wanted to make sure her family all came to know Jesus as their own personal Savior. She wanted us all to be reminded to be ready for the day we are taken from this world, or the day Jesus returns.

I am so thankful for her boldness to share her faith with us without apology. Even if it made someone feel uncomfortable, she was going to make sure you knew how important it is to live your life with Jesus as your number one priority.

I feel like so many times when someone passes away we are so quick to think and say things that are meant to bring comfort but not always true. Like when we say they are in a better place. They have gained their wings. She is flying high above now. Hope she rests in peace. Though these sayings may have good intentions they are not true.

The only way to be in the better place, more accurately to be in Heaven with our Savior is to be saved according to the Scriptures. To be saved you must repent of your sins. You must believe that Jesus is the son of God and that he came to Earth died on the cross and rose again 3 days later. Then commit your life to make Him your priority in all aspects of your life. Being saved goes beyond being kind and doing good works. We are saved by grace through faith, not our works. You must have a personal relationship with Jesus and spend your days growing closer to Him through prayer, reading His Word, and continually growing in Him through the process of sanctification. You must commit to sharing His Word with others and grow together in a community of believers.

We can’t simply just know there is a God and be a good person because it’s impossible to be a good person when we are all born into a sinful world therefore, we are all inherently sinners. When we die, we do not become angels as amazing as that may sound. God created angels as separate beings. We will not be resting in peace when we die either. If you are saved and have that relationship with Jesus, we will spend eternity in His presence glorifying him and singing of His praises. Like Heaven is a real place so is Hell. People don’t like when pastors preach about Hellfire and brimstone, but the truth is Hell is a real possibility for so many people that do not know Jesus as their personal savior or that may be confused about what salvation truly means.

I am so thankful for the priceless inheritance I’ve been given through the Legacy of Faith my grandparents and great-grandparents have created for my family. I am thankful I am able to pass that down to my own children. I pray that my Mamaw and Papaw’s Legacy of Faith is spread throughout our family and that we all will continue to seek out the truth about who God is and what true salvation looks like. I look forward to the day that I get to Heaven to be face to face with Jesus and reunited with my grandparents and all my loved ones who too had that personal relationship with Jesus.

Seek God’s guidance in creating your own Legacy of Faith

Exodus 20:5-6   Matt 6:20-21     Proverbs 13:22     Proverbs 22:6    Psalm 112: 1-3  Psalm 127:1   Psalm 145:4       2 Timothy 2:2

~Megan

www.MeganWurzelbacher.com

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Truth

I know you’ve heard someone say, “The truth will set you free”. However, sometimes the truth in certain difficult situations is not ours to share.  For someone like myself who prides themselves on being real and being honest no matter what the costs, no matter the embarrassment, no matter the shame that may come to me personally; not being able to share a full truth because of the consequences it may bring to others including those who are innocent in the situation but still affected is really hard for me. I’m the type of person that likes to put it all out there.  My life is an open book and I truly believe the mistakes, hardships, and difficult times in my life not only shaped me but can also help others to get through their difficulties.

Recently I have really been struggling with a difficult situation that has been a part of my own life. There are different situations in our past and in our present where we may be affected by something that has happened to us or those close to us; to heal from them we need to share the truth with others. But when those situations may hurt others, or they may not be fully your story to tell you cannot always share the full truth.

I’ve wrestled with this scenario over and over in my head (and in confidence in speaking with my husband). If the truth will set me free, then how can I speak the truth with keeping true to myself and without hurting others among other serious consequences that may follow?  As I’ve contemplated how to best address situations like this, I’ve been stressed out without finding an answer to help me handle it correctly.

After spending some time in my daily bible reading in the book of John chapter eight, I was able to realize what that saying actually means based on its origins and original context. John 8:32, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Jesus was speaking to the Jews who believed in Him, and He told them, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8: 31-32 NIV). Jesus then continues, “Very truly I tell you, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” (John 8:34-36)

I don’t need to share the full truth with others in certain situations for myself to receive healing and freedom. I need to seek the Son, Jesus, and share the truth with Him. Then I need to immerse myself in His truth, His Word, the Bible. The word of God is the truth that is being referenced in these verses. For me to find healing and to handle the situation correctly without causing harm to others I need to know His word by studying it and asking for God to give me guidance and wisdom on how to apply His word to all aspects of my life especially in difficult and delicate situations like I’ve been struggling with.

If there are areas in your life where you too are struggling to find the right way to find your freedom and your healing without exposing or hurting others in the situation turn to the one and only truth, God’s word, the Holy Bible. His word is relevant to every aspect of our lives, and it is a living source of wisdom and power through Him. “For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” (Hebrews 4:12 ESV) No matter the difficulty, no matter the situation, no matter the shame, no matter the hurt, no matter the guilt His Word is our source of healing.

~Megan

www.MeganWurzelbacher.com

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Perfectly Imperfect

One of the biggest misconceptions about Christians is we think we are perfect. Honestly (most) Christians are more than fully aware that they are not perfect and that is exactly what brought us to have a relationship with Jesus in the first place. We need our relationship with him because we need our Savior to cover all our imperfections with his unending grace.

When I first felt like God was calling to share my journey and to be honest about all my imperfections it was scary. I felt like He couldn’t use me because of my past and my current struggles. I felt like who I was and what I had done in my past would cause others to not believe that I was a Christian and I had made changes in my life. I also struggle daily with a lack of patience, anger, being brutally honest with my words which leads to speaking with a lack of grace when I speak more times than not. So, I thought if I share my journey and my relationship with Jesus, people may doubt the authenticity of that relationship if they knew me in the past or maybe if they knew me yesterday when I lost my patience and didn’t listen when the Holy Spirit was guiding me to just shut my mouth and I said what was on my mind instead.

Thankfully I have learned that it is exactly what the enemy would want me to do. Satan would love nothing more for Christians to not share about their struggles and how we need Jesus because of those struggles. So regardless of my shortcomings I can promise you I am a Christian and I am nowhere near perfect or without sin, and I never will be in this lifetime. That is why I need Jesus and I am so grateful for his unending grace that I do not deserve but he so graciously gives every day. So no, I am not perfect, I am human. I am a Jesus follower, and he has led me to share openly and honestly about my life including the not-so-Christ-like struggles so others can see just how much we need Him and just how much He has already done and continues to do in my life.

So, if you are looking for encouragement you are in the right place. Jesus has taken each part of my brokenness and has used it for His glory. I can relate to those who struggle to be gentle, patient, and kind. I can show you that despite the years of partying, waking up in places not knowing where I was or who I was with, showing up to class in high-school drunk weekly, being full of shame because of sexual sins, being involved in bar fights, and so many more aspects of my life that show my imperfections God has forgiven me and given me new life. My past is forgiven but I can use that to relate to those who are in those same broken places and show them the way out, through Jesus.

-Megan

www.MeganWurzelbacher.com

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Self-Care With God

What do all women have in common? Besides love and the absolute need for dry shampoo, it is our ability to multi-task and fulfill multiple roles at once. Think about your own roles for a moment within your own home, career, church, family, and community. You may be a wife, mom, daughter, employer, employee, volunteer, student, teacher, and a combination of those plus so many more. We are constantly trying to balance our various roles and responsibilities. No matter what roles you find yourself fulfilling you are constantly pouring yourself into others all while placing your own needs, desires, and sometimes basic human essentials on the back burner.

We often get so busy with life, in general, we forget to take care of ourselves. We are unable to make time to rest, refresh, and reconnect. Sometimes based on our circumstances of career, family, and maybe even church and community we do not even have the option of self-care.  Unfortunately, our relationship with God can often succumb to this busyness of fulfilling our roles and lack of self-care.

I know I personally struggle with finding time to just fulfill my roles and responsibilities let alone find the time and energy for self-care. My family and I travel for my husband’s career and our life is not the traditional family life. My husband works out of town full time and we travel with him the majority of the time. We call Kentucky home and when we are on the road we have stayed in hotels until recently we now stay in a travel trailer at a campground. I homeschool our children ages four, six, and eight all while trying to keep our one-year-old from climbing on absolutely everything! My husband often works eighty-plus hours a week leaving the responsibilities of the house and now the camper, the groceries, the meals, the school work, the packing, the preparing, and the children to me.

Because we are out of town we are away from family and friends which means babysitters are basically non-existent without extensive planning ahead and travel on my part or our family that is willing to help us out when needed. This also means I do not have friends local to me to call to come over for some adult communication. By the time my husband gets home from work all the nail salons, hair salons, and anywhere else I could think of for some mama self-care have closed. Therefore, for me in this season of life self-care is not exactly how social media portrays it.

Maybe you can relate as a single mother trying to do everything on your own going out with friends, having a day at the spa those things are impossible when you don’t have the support you need. Maybe you are the one in your family working the eighty-plus hours at work leaving you with no clue what self-care even means. Being a college student that works full time, I’ve been there, there is no free time to relax. For some of us, there is no me time, no downtime, no self-care.

Often times our me-time, self-care time, or any free time can be the time we dedicate to focus on our relationship with God. Those times can get lost in the shuffle of our schedules and our roles. When our bodies are telling us we need that extra sleep in the morning instead of our quiet time with God. When we are unable to make it to church because of our kid’s extracurricular activities. When work keeps us from extra time studying our Bible. Unfortunately, when we are missing out on our alone time with God in prayer, bible study, in worship, and/or in connecting with him daily we may find ourselves feeling disconnected from Him.

This rut of disconnection from God is easier to fall into when the rest of our lives, though busy, are going well. When we are in the mundane of everyday life with little to no trials, tribulations, or emergent needs can easily be swept away by the busyness around us. Not having an urgent need or desire to bring to God we can be caught up in our daily life and pray our simple prayer or our routine grace before eating meals or maybe skip prayer completely. We may be so exhausted from fulfilling our roles as women we take those extra quiet minutes in the early morning to sleep in instead of reading a devotional or listening to our favorite podcast. We know we have a relationship with God, we love Him, we need Him, but we may not realize our lack of putting forth effort and time into our relationship with Him is actually causing us to slowly stop pursuing him altogether.

When we are not pursuing God and not seeking him in our daily lives we are not just taking a quick break or resting. We are, however, risking everything. Becoming less connected to God and allowing our spiritual priorities to become less important than our worldly priorities sets us on a path of disappointment and total spiritual burnout. When we are not fully in pursuit of God and striving for a deeper, intimate connection with him on a daily basis we are allowing a distance to wedge between us. Then when we hit a speed bump in our life like a struggle, a trial, or a tragedy it makes the direction we should go less clear. It allows the enemy to fill that gap between God and ourselves. Then the hopelessness creeps in, doubt, fear, and anxiety begin taking over. We begin to doubt God and question our faith.

We all need rest, trust me as a mother who has not slept since 2009, I know we crave rest. Actually, God wants us to rest. He himself rested, “And on the seventh day God finished His work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all His work that he had done.” Genesis 2:2 (ESV)  He rested because his job was finished. We often need rest before our jobs are finished and that is okay and to be expected. We should be searching for that rest in God.  He is our safe haven, our refuge. We should be in a dire need of rest in God. “Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Selah” Psalm 62:8 (ESV)

Instead of just doing the bare minimum in our relationship with God and thinking we can just coast by as long as we are saved we need to invest ourselves fully in Him. We need to pursue him in the deepest most passionate way. We need to strive to meet with him daily over and over again. We need to submit ourselves, our days, and our roles over to Him. We should be fully immersed in the relationship with God instead of coasting by until we feel like we need his help. Jesus even took the time he needed to be alone and pray to God, “And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed.” Mark 1:35 (ESV)

Once we have committed ourselves to God and we engage in that relationship fully and purposefully we may just find that balance and that rest we have been searching for. God created us for His glory and purpose. So why not allow the one who created you to define you, your roles, and your priorities. Give yourself the most important aspect of self-care, your relationship with God. If you are struggling with finding the time here are some quick ideas. 

5 Ways To Find Time for Self-Care With God

1.    Lunch break: No matter what your lunch break may look like this is a perfect opportunity to connect with God. Take 15 minutes to yourself, at your own kitchen table (or like most moms standing at your kitchen counter), at your desk at work, in your car in the drive-thru parking lot, whatever works for you! Open your favorite daily devotional and spend some time in God’s word. Maybe devotionals are not your thing and that is okay! Open your bible start in Matthew read one chapter each day at lunch.

2.    Early risers: If you are anything like me this may be the hardest idea for you. I am not a morning person in any sense. However, on those very rare occasions, I choose to get up before little hungry kids wake me up the quiet of the morning makes for a perfect time to do some bible journaling or just to spend some time praying. Write down your prayers in a notebook or on your phone and look over them the next few months see how God moves in your prayer life.

3.    Night owl: This is my personal favorite. When you are laying in bed and you cannot sleep instead of scrolling Pinterest for all the lovely ideas you do not have time to do, listen to your favorite podcast. Grab your headphones, get comfortable, and just soak in someone’s message about God from a podcast you love.  If podcasts are not for you then grab your Bible and a booklight and sink into your favorite Bible study.

4.    Mama: To all the other busy moms I know finding time can seem impossible. Take 15 minutes every afternoon. It could be during nap time or after school. Tell your older children to find a quiet activity, turn their favorite movie on, read a book, play a game on their tablets, whatever works for you and your family. Set that time aside for you to listen to sit down and just spend quality time with God. Pray, journal in your Bible, find a verse that encourages you and write it down.

5.    Working women: No matter if your career is at home, in the office, or on the road finding downtime is incredibly difficult. Turn on some praise and worship music while you are getting ready, in the shower, in the car, at your desk, while making breakfast, or whatever can work for your schedule. Just take that time to worship God through music.

Carve out the time anywhere you can find it. In the car, in the morning, at lunch break, after the kids go to bed, whenever you can get it.  Invest fully in your relationship with God and allow Him to move in your life giving you a purpose and the tools you need. Start scheduling in your self-care time and remember the best way to take care of yourself is to fully invest and commit to your relationship with God.

Scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved

Mama/

Mama 10 Ways To Renew Your Joy

Hey Mamas!

As a mama to 4 kids ages 7 and under I can so often find myself getting caught up in the mundane of each day, as well as the task and checklist I have. Add in the house,  homeschooling, activities, careers, and everything else and you quickly find yourself just trying to get through each day. We often need a refresh to remind ourselves (and our kids) we need to take time to add joy back in our days and make amazing memories to look back on. I know I am not alone in feeling like I need a mama refresh so here are 10 simple and fun ways to renew the joy in your motherhood!

Download the FREEBIE here as a quick reminder for renewing your joy!

  1. Start your journey back to joy with a dance party! My kids love it when we blast some music and dance around the living room! You can also turn on a slow song and twirl your little ones around and everyone will be full of smiles and giggles in no time! 

2. Ice cream makes everything better! Who doesn’t like a surprise treat every now and then! On days when we all need a little joy refresh in our house I load everyone up in our Wurzel Wagon (aka our giant van) and we hit up our favorite ice cream drive-thru. It makes it extra special when I do not tell the kids where we are going and as soon as they see the ice cream place cue the joy and screams! Don’t want to leave the house, then grab some ice cream and toppings at your next grocery shop. Surprise the kids with an ice cream party let them add their own toppings and enjoy some mama chocolate time along with your littles!

3. Movie nights are popular in our house. A movie allows some downtime and even some rest for Mama. Grab some popcorn or any other favorite snacks, pile up on the floor, on the couch, or our favorite, the bed! My kids really love getting on Amazon and watching old movies from my and Daddy’s childhood!

4. Lunchtime is often a little chaotic with school work, hungry kids, and a sleepy baby. So a great way to switch things up and add some smiles on everyone’s face is to have a simple picnic either indoors or outdoors. Make some quick PB & J, fruit, yogurt, and a juice box, and my kids feel like they have won the lottery. They would rather eat a snack like lunch than a homecooked entre any day and the simplicity makes it easier on Mama too. Throw a vinyl table cloth (Wal-Mart usually has holiday/seasonal ones that the kids love and they are about $3) on the floor and you have an easy clean-up picnic!

5. Bake Goodies! Our family is obsessed with Food Network! My kids love watching the Kids Baking Championship show. They have their own pretend  Baking Championship with cakes made of Legos, blocks, and other toys all the time. So we had a Brownie Baking Championship with different flavor brownies they all got to try and judge to pick their favorite. They loved it! Baking any type of goodies is always a way to add some joy to our days.

6. Craft Night is another winner in our house. Grab some construction paper, glue, tape, glitter paint, you know all the messy stuff! Let them go outside or use the vinyl tablecloth again to keep your mess contained. Give everyone a theme for their crafts or just let them use their imagination.

7. Break out the camera or use your phone and help your kids create their own TV Show or Podcast! My kids love to make their own news show updating on their day or the weather. They have also recorded their own show where their sister is the host and she interviews her brothers like a talk show and it is hilarious to watch!

8. Family game night! Break out the board games or simply play some tic-tac-toe! Make your own Pictionary games or charades. We have yet to try this but next on their list is a family Double Dare night!

9. Camp out in the living room! You can either hang out for a while in your campout or sleep all night! Throw some blankets and pillows down or sleeping bags if you have them. Make some blanket forts and tell campfire stories. Of course, you cant have a campout with smores! We recently made smores in a bag which was easy and less mess for Mama! Just melt some marshmallows or use marshmallow cream mix them in those little individual bags of honey teddy grahams, add mini Hershey bars or chocolate chips grab and spoon, and enjoy!

10. Have a family talent show! Think America’s Got Talent, The Voice, American Idol… everyone can take turns showing off their talent whether it’s magic tricks, dance moves, or singing their favorite songs! Make sure you participate too Mama the kids love it when I sing my favorite old-school songs (at least I pretend as they do) lol!

Have fun Mamas and renew your joy while making precious memories with your littles!

Have other ideas that your family enjoys let me know in the comments!

Faith/

Mouthful of Kindness

“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teachings of kindness is on her tongue.” Proverbs 31:26 ESV

As I was studying my Bible recently this verse really stood out to me.

First, anytime a verse from Proverbs 31 comes into play I am so tempted to feel defeated before even reading it. Let’s be honest the woman in Proverbs 31 seems perfect and I instantly think there is no way I am able to meet her standard. (Which I address in my book, You Are- Trusting God To Define Who You Are). But this verse is especially hard for me to live up to.

As Christians, we are already given this unfair idea of perfectionism, immeasurable kindness, and continual, unconditional love by both believers and non-believers. So when this verse is reinforcing the importance of what is coming out of our mouths and that kindness should be a major component of that I am instantly hit with guilt and the feeling of being a failure.

If you know me then you already know I have no problem talking! I have never really had a problem with saying what’s on my mind or how I feel about something. Having no issue with speaking freely and being assertive is a double edge sword at times. While I credit those qualities to helping me accomplish positive things in my life I can also say they have hurt me and discredited me at times as well.

When I think of what has come out of my mouth even in the last few months I can definitely say I did not always have wisdom, kindness, or love flowing out. Ask my husband and my kids and I am pretty sure they would agree with me. It seems those who are closest to us unfortunately are those who get the worst of us at times. The last year I have been working on being more intentional with my words and not just my words but the tone of my voice.

So I am taking this verse as my reminder to redirect my thoughts and therefore what comes out of my mouth. While speaking freely about what is on my mind and being assertive are a part of who I am, how I use those qualities are completely in my control.  Not only is this important for me to remember for myself it is important for the example I am setting for my own children. They mimic everything we do, what we say, and how we say it.

To help myself as well as my children we have been talking about using our words only to encourage and show love. We wrote down what biblical love is from the verses in 1 Corinthians 13 each characteristic of love on a post-it note. They each helped decorate them and we hung them up on the kitchen wall as a daily reminder for all of us as a family. It has not only helped them it has helped me! We do most of our school work in the kitchen, most of my daily housework happens in the kitchen, we spend so much of our day preparing, eating, and cleaning up in the kitchen it was the perfect location for us.

There is no need to assume that the famous Proverbs 31 woman was perfect either, I can assure you she was not. The quality that was most important about her was her faith and her intention. So I am focusing on my faith and my intention especially when it comes to my mouth! If you are like me maybe this can serve as a small reminder to you as well. So here is to controlling our tongues and focusing on speaking wisdom, kindness, and love to our husbands and our children.

 “13 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.” 1 Corinthians 13 New International Version (NIV)

Faith/

More Than We Can Handle

How many times have you heard the saying, “God won’t give you more than you can handle” during a difficult time in your life? If you are like me, the answer is too many! While this seemingly encouraging statement may make some feel better it is truly a misrepresentation of who God truly is. During times of hardships, brokenness, heartbreak, pain, and uncertainty we often reach out for an answer or comforting words. These words for me became a source of more hurt and more confusion.

 In 2009 after months of trying my husband and I found out we were expecting our first child. Having planned for this amazing gift for so long we were beyond elated. When I was at the very beginning of my second trimester, I began to have complications. It was New Year’s Eve 2009 that began a journey that would forever change my life.  Days later, I found out I had lost the baby to a missed miscarriage. Devastated and heartbroken are the closest I can come to putting my feelings into words. The death of a child due to pregnancy loss is a pain unimaginable and journey that never ends. As our family, friends, co-workers offered their words of encouragement and sympathy hearing this simple saying multiple times not only broke me, even more, it also made me question God and his character.

To me, those words were leading to the assumption that God had caused this devastating moment in my life because I was not ready to be a mother or maybe not meant to be a mother at all. Others insinuated there could have been physical or mental challenges for the baby so God knew I couldn’t handle that and took my baby instead. The biggest misconception following this seemingly simple and encouraging saying is that God causes everything in our lives he gives us these hardships and tragedies.

The truth is God does not cause all the hardships, struggles, and tragedies in our lives. He does not give us devastation as a lesson, a test, or a consequence. God does not have a concrete set of blueprints for every step of our lives, and he does not purposefully give us hardships. God has a plan for our lives that he has established much like a strategy, but he has also given us freedom, flexibility, and choices.

Unfortunately, part of humans having freedom and the ability to make choices is what led to the broken world we live in. The moment Adam and Eve decided to disobey God in the Garden of Eden and eat of the forbidden fruit they opened the door for sin to enter this world, changing it forever. The consequences of that moment in history are the hardships, the devastations, the struggles, and the tragedies that we all face in our lives. I know God did not give me the loss of a child to face but I know he did help me handle what I was given in this broken world. Though God does not cause all the hardships we face he can, however, use though moments to bring us closer to him and to show us his unconditional love.

In order for this saying to accurately reflect who God is and how we handle hardships the saying should be reworded. The correct version of this simple saying is, “God does not give us what we can handle, God helps us handle what we are given”. This represents the true character of God as well as the need we have for him in our lives.

We were never meant to journey through this life-bearing our struggles alone.  At the time of my first pregnancy, I had strayed from my relationship with God to say the very least. I knew God was real and he was important, but he was not even on my priority list at that time of my life. The moment I realized something was wrong with our baby I began to pray. I began to seek God for his wisdom, his love, his miracles, his safety. I had been struggling through life for years on my own up until this point. That is when it became so clear to me that I could not make it through the devastation to come without God. Even though I felt so far from God and I did not seek any relationship with him he had never left me. He was there waiting for me to call out to him.

The moment I realized he never left me was the moment I realized despite the pain and the hurt I was feeling he did not cause this to happen to me or my baby. I knew God had not taken my baby away from me, I knew he was not testing me, he was not punishing me, he was not giving me consequences of not prioritizing him in my life.  God is a good God who loves us and wants nothing but the best for us. His Word demonstrates his love and desire for us to be happy, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV).  He is not out to seek revenge or punishment. He is not always giving us or allowing us struggles and heartbreak to test our faith.

God helped me handle what I was given and he continues to do so each day. As I began to grow closer to God the more I was able to see how he used what I was given to develop my purpose.  I was able to see how the loss of our first child was giving me a purpose I never thought possible. I learned through our pain we can often find our purpose. I know the sweet little baby I carried but never got to hold saved me in more ways than one. God was able to use the loss of our baby and impact my life, my husband’s life, and his future siblings’ lives in ways I never could have imagined. I was able to reconnect with God and renew a relationship with him like never before. I was able to prioritize my life in a way that made finding my purpose so much clearer to me.

God was there guiding me through this newfound territory of unimaginable grief and sorrow. He was connecting me to people and the community that would be essential to my healing and growing process. He used this time of grief leading me to connect with a community of women who have also lost a child(ren) to pregnancy and infant loss. He led me to share my story and my writing to help others find healing in their own journeys. He gave the pain of losing our Baby KW a  purpose and an everlasting memorial through my writing.

He used this pain to humble me. He used the longing for a child of my own to give me the desire to spend as much time possible with the children I was blessed with after our loss. He reminds me to focus on loving our children even when the days are long and hard. He showed me to never take my children, their health, and our time together for granted. This pain allowed God to show me ways to love my children, develop a relationship with my children, and show them the true meaning of faith in ways that otherwise would not have been possible.

God was there using my husband as a tangible support system. Giving him the words to say to bring me comfort and hope. Creating a bond, a relationship, and a foundation for a marriage I am forever grateful for. God showed me how much faith my husband had in him and revealed how important his faith was to me as well. The hope instilled in the words my husband said to me was God’s way of assuring me in a time of the unknown, unbearable hurt, and fear of not being able to have a family of my own one day.

I know without a doubt I never could have made it through this part of my journey on my own. Though my husband, my family, and my pregnancy and infant loss community were an amazing support for me had I not had my newly refreshed relationship with God I know my life would have ended up on a much different and very difficult route. When you lose a child to pregnancy loss you feel alone, misunderstood, responsible, and the thought of moving forward is inconceivable. You would rather stay home, skip your daily routines, forget about your responsibilities, and you could easily sink into a deep, dark, depression. Had I not had God’s Word, His Hope, and His love reassuring me each day I am not sure I would have made it out of that dark time in my life. 

God is always there for all of us. He is our source of love, strength, and hope. Even in the darkest and hardest of times, we can find peace through God and his unconditional love. “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7 (ESV) When you feel like you have been given a difficult struggle or when life seems like it is too much to bear do not believe the lie that God has caused it or that you are not strong enough to handle it. The truth is God can help you through everything you face in life. You are strong enough through God to handle it all. “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13 (ESV)

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

Scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved

Faith/

Busy Mom’s Guide to Quiet Time with God

As moms no matter what our situation is we all have at least one thing in common, we are always so busy! We often wonder where the day went when we look at our to-do list that has not been completed at the end of the day.

This week I have been trying my best to be more intentional in finding quiet time with God. A time I can really sit and communicate and open up with God not just a time to read a quick devotion or a few scriptures. It seems like so many moms wake up early before their kids for their quiet time with God or Bible study time. I have tried and failed many times at trying this route.

For starters most, days at least 1 of my kids are up by 6 AM so getting up before then is never happening. I have never been a morning person! Now as a mom of four then throw in some insomnia, a baby and 4 year old who I am pretty sure hate to sleep at night and you will always find me soaking up every minute of sleep between the hours of 4 AM to 6 Am.  

So if you are like me and rather stay up all night than wake up 30 minutes early I have some ideas of other times throughout your day that you can spend your quality time with God!

  1. Nap/Quiet time. We have a nap time and/or quiet time every day at our house. Sometimes everyone sleeps and sometimes no one sleeps they just lay and rest quietly. They may be in their beds or they may be watching a movie while the baby sleeps. But I NEED this time for so many reasons as a stay at home mom who homeschools. This quiet time is the perfect opportunity for mommy to have some alone time with God!
  2. Kids Free Play. Because we homeschool, we like to take breaks in between a few subjects throughout the day. In the morning we usually do a few subjects just after breakfast then take a break. The kids have “free play” in their rooms at this time. This allows me to clean up from breakfast and sneak a few extra minutes of alone time in my Bible.
  3. Lunch Time. If you are a working mama lunch time is the perfect opportunity to have some quiet time with God. You can have alone time in your car, at your desk, in your designated lunch area in your office, at your favorite restaurant or coffee shop.
  4. After Dinner. Maybe you have some time in the evening in between dinner and bed time ask your spouse to take over homework, bath time, or whatever your usual routine is and use that time as your alone time with God. It does not have to be every day maybe even once a week.
  5. TV Time. My husband’s way to relax is to just watch TV. But my Type A Mom Brain does not work like that. If the TV is on, I need to be doing something else like scrolling for new DIY projects for my husband to do on Pinterest, or scrolling Instagram, searching for a new wardrobe on Pinterest, just anything else. So why not pop in some headphones and cuddle up on the couch with your Bible turn on some praise and worship music and open up to God.
  6. Kid’s Bedtime. After the kids go to bed and stop coming in for hugs, water, bathroom breaks, repeat… use this as your alone time with God. Let the dishes and laundry pile up another day. Sit down with your Bible, journal, and the chocolate you’ve been saving all day and pour your heart out to God.
  7. In the Waiting. Whether you are waiting for a doctor’s appointment, work appointment, sports practice, school pick up line take advantage of that quiet car or waiting room and pull your Bible out.
  8. Middle of the night. Maybe you are like me and survive on less than 4 hours of sleep more than you would like to admit. Instead of lying in bed scrolling Pinterest or trying to solve every life problem you have at the time grab your Bible and spend that quiet time with God.
  9. Set aside. Take the time and set aside one night a week or maybe a month and ask your spouse or a babysitter to take over for an hour so you can go be in your room or leave the house for some quite time with God.
  10. OTHER TIPS: Have your supplies ready! Gather your Bible, Journal, pens, highlighters or whatever is your Bible Study style and place them in a basket, bag, or bin so they are ready for any opening in your schedule. Use headphones and some praise and worship music to drown out any interrupting noise. Have a Bible study, devotional or other reading materials ready and place them with your Bible.