October 2024

It’s almost 1:00 AM so what am I doing up writing? I’ve always been a night owl. Turning off my brain has always been a struggle. Sometimes a welcomed quiet time. While the kids are all asleep in their beds, I enjoy the comfort of sitting up in bed while Jason sleeps next to me either reading, writing, or working in bed. Sometimes with work assignments. Sometimes planning to quiet the to-do list in my head. Sometimes to read or scroll for relaxation.  Other times to research. It could be business ideas, home design, bible studies, or anything lying heavy on my mind. This quiet, focused time has changed lately and has turned into research time for the last two years. 

It is time to learn any and everything I can about Korbin’s Arginine Vasopressin Deficiency (Diabetes Insipidus) diagnosis.  What type of treatment is available? What kind of alternatives are there? (none.) What does his prognosis of living with this disease look like? Where is the best available care or doctor for him? You name it I’ve researched it. That research then led to learning more about the causes of this rare disease. Which led me down several paths of further research. In the last year or so that has led to narrowing that research to Langerhans Cell Histiocytosis (LCH). I’ve spent night after night scouring online Histiocytosis, LCH, AVP-D /DI groups, organizations, articles, medical journals, and personal experiences. Soaking in every bit of information my mind can absorb plus some. Watching video after video. Researching oncologists, hematologists, endocrinologists, and every pediatric hospital within a 15-hour drive. 

This month waiting for doctors to return test results, phone calls, get tests, and appointments schedule has been nothing short of heavy almost to the point of feeling tortuous. As I lay here tonight scrolling and mapping out hospital trips and weighing the costs of what the future may hold with so many unknowns and so many questions I tried even in the darkness, even as I sat alone, even when I didn’t need to be strong for anyone else, I felt myself trying to hold it all in. Trying to not let the tears escape as it is so hard to control them these days. For someone who hates to cry and seems to cry for every emotion, this has been a trying time to get myself to keep it all together. 

As I felt the weight get heavier words quickly came to my mind. As I scrolled the website of yet another children’s pediatric oncology hospital. The words replay over and over. “Jesus Wept.” at first I feel comfort in thinking God is so good and kind he’s reminding me it’s okay to fall apart with the weight of the situation. That even Jesus both equally God and man wept. Thinking of the verse in the book of John 11:35. I quickly switched apps on my phone, much like my brain with all the tabs open. I opened the Bible app and read the verse to myself again. 

I thought about how Jesus knowing the full plan, knowing every detail of what had happened to his friend Lazarus and what was going to happen, He still wept. He still felt the weight of the situation.  It was still too much for him to get it together. It was in front of a crowd of people. Not in the comfort of the dark and his bed. In the day light surrounded by those who believed him and those who ridiculed him. He wept. Knowing that when he called upon his Heavenly Father asking for Him to step in and perform a miracle only possible by him for His Glory that He would do it, Jesus still wept. 

It wasn’t about his weakness. It wasn’t about lack of faith. It wasn’t about his loss of hope. It wasn’t about him being overwhelmed by sadness. It wasn’t about the sickness his friend suffered through. It wasn’t about the finality of death. It was just about his need to trust in His father’s timing. It was about his need to call out to His Heavenly Father. It was about the deep love he felt for Lazarus. It was about the sorrow he felt in that moment.

 It was about sharing it with a crowd of believers, doubters, unbelievers, and those in between.  It was about doing It all for God’s glory. So that everyone will believe. I know without a doubt that everything Korbin is going through and everything we are dealing with is because of this broken world we live in but, God! He will use every appointment. Every procedure. Every test. Every tear. Every pain. Every hard day.  Every struggle. Every part of Korbin’s story will be for God’s glory. 

John 11:40 NIV

[40] Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?”

If you’ve made it this far just know I’ve wept. I may not have all the details but I know the outcome. Korbin’s story will be used all for God’s glory.

 So for those in our “crowd”. Those who find themselves doubting. Those who don’t believe, used to believe, or don’t know what it means to believe. To those in between. 

Keep following Korbin’s story. Keep watching as we continue to call out to our Heavenly Father. Keep watching so you can see when God takes away this “stone”. We pray that through Korbin’s story you will stand here and believe. All for His Glory. 

John 11:41-42 NIV

[41] So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. [42] I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.”

For those of you who don’t know me, I should probably tell you a little about my personality first. I am a Type A planner full of some major ADHD and maybe a few OCD tendencies. For, example when I’m watching a Netflix show, I can’t just watch one episode. I am always binge-watching the entire thing no matter how many seasons or how many hours of sleep I lose out on because again my sweet ADHD induced insomnia, Type A brain just needs to know how it ends and I can’t sleep anyway so I might as well just stay up all night and watch the whole series. One of the shows I have binge-watched is The Home Edit. Have y’all watched it? I am seriously obsessed with the show and all their products. The Home Edit is a company that was started by two women, Clea and Joanna, who love to organize. They became famous after going viral on Instagram with pretty pictures and they organize celebrity homes. They want to make sure that the spaces in your home are efficient, user-friendly, and aesthetically pleasing. They start by cleaning out the space either a closet, a pantry, a refrigerator, or a garage etc. obliterating everything. They then purge anything you do not need and donate things that can be reused which is the edit stage. Then anything that is staying gets organized by category. They bring in their team that will add shelving, baskets, drawers, and these little nice clear bins that are all labeled. They then arrange everything in rainbow color order so it looks pretty.

After watching the Home Edit the entire series, you know at once obviously; I had to completely redo our house. The first place I started was our refrigerator. I hate a messy fridge and especially if it has anything expired in it. My mom is here and can attest to the fact I will show up at your house and if I get something out of the fridge and it’s a mess, not in order, or has anything expired I will clean it out for you no shame at all it is just something that needs to be done. So, the fridge was naturally where I needed to begin my own Home Edit. I then just had to go to one of my favorite places, the giant TJ Maxx Home Goods combo in Pensacola this is not a sponsored ad I am not getting paid to tell you this but if you have not been you are just not living your best life, so I highly recommend you go! I went to my favorite place, and I loaded my buggy with all the clear plastic bins I could fit in our refrigerator. Bins for fruits, vegetables, cheese, butter, kids’ snacks, eggs, and a little spinning container for condiments. I mean, I went all out. Go home and I must hand wash all these bins because, of course, they are not dishwasher safe. That would be way too easy. Get my fridge looking amazing and pleasing to all my OCD tendencies and just like Joanna and Clea from The Home Edit team would do it. However, what this show forgot to film was how after spending all this money and time buying, hand washing, and organizing these cute little bins, I have now created so much more work for myself.

You see, we have six people in our family, and we homeschool we eat at least 2 meals a day at home not including snacks and second breakfast. Second breakfast is a homeschool thing for those who have never homeschooled. This is where if the kids eat breakfast before 8 AM they then very desperately need a second breakfast by 10 AM because they are starving and I am a terrible mother if I do not feed them again. We are home eating every single day literally all day long. Y’all I could go to the grocery every day and still not have enough food in our house.

Now my cute little bins are cute empty bins. I now have to handwash those bins again before I can fill them up with more food because little hands have touched them, spilled things on them, put cracked eggshells back in them. I realized if I never would have bought these cute little bins and if I just had the regular old Piggly Wiggly squeaky foam egg carton, my eggs would be gone and I would walk that not so cute piece of foam straight to the garbage can and that would be it. No more extra work. Just throw away the empty egg carton.

But no, thanks to The Home Edit Team getting all in my head and my brain being completely satisfied by the aesthetically pleasing organization in my fridge I’m over here handwashing 50 plastic cute bins before I can unload $500 worth of groceries back into them each and every week! 

Now these bins have created so much more unnecessary work for me. Guess what even though I know that without a doubt I have added more work for myself you know what I’ll be doing in the middle of the week this week when I run out of groceries again, that’s right handwashing 50 cute bins plastic again. It’s complete insanity. What if I told you we actually are doing the same thing in our relationship with God?

When Lauren asked me if I would pray about speaking at this event, I had no idea what I was going to talk about.  I asked her to pray about what I would share with you tonight and I started praying. But no, God didn’t lead me to just talk about my ADHD induced insomnia, Netflix binging, and OCD organization issues. But he did lead me to start thinking about something he has been showing me in my own life recently.

Because I am a total planner, which is really just a nice way of saying I am a total control freak. I want everything in my life to be organized and separated into categories that, just like my fridge, I can place in their bins and boxes and have everything the way that I want them. I started to realize that I was doing the same thing with my faith and my relationship with God. Maybe you have been doing the same thing too without even noticing.

Now I am not saying that God doesn’t like organization because he does. Throughout the Bible, we see God using organization, rules, and procedures. Specifically, in Exodus chapters 35-39, we read about the Israelites being obedient to God’s instructions to Moses about the tabernacle. Moses received these instructions during his first 40 days on Mount Sinai. There were specific instructions for the materials that were to be used for the tabernacle. Specific instructions on where to put everything in the tabernacle. In chapter 39 verse 43, we even see that Moses inspected their work, “Moses inspected the work and saw that they had done it just as the Lord had commanded. So, Moses blessed them”. Then in chapter 40, God commanded Moses to set up the tabernacle according to his organized plan and in his specific time.  

Chapter 40 verse 1-5 says, “Then the Lord said to Moses: 2 “Set up the tabernacle, the tent of meeting, on the first day of the first month. 3 Place the ark of the covenant law in it and shield the ark with the curtain. 4 Bring in the table and set out what belongs on it. Then bring in the lampstand and set up its lamps. 5 Place the gold altar of incense in front of the Ark of the Covenant law and put the curtain at the entrance to the tabernacle.

These instructions God is giving continues through verse 15 on exactly how God wants them to organize and set up the tabernacle.

Verse 16–17 continues with, “16 Moses did everything just as the Lord commanded him. 17 So the tabernacle was set up on the first day of the first month in the second year.

These are not your basic instructions. They are very detailed, making sure everything is in the right place at the right time.

Then, in verse 34, we see God carrying out his plan for the Tabernacle and why those instructions were so important.  

³⁴ Then the cloud covered the tent of meeting, and the glory of the Lord filled the tabernacle. ³⁵ Moses could not enter the tent of meeting because the cloud had settled on it, and the glory of the Lord filled the tabernacle.

³⁶ In all the travels of the Israelites, whenever the cloud lifted from above the tabernacle, they would set out; ³⁷ but if the cloud did not lift, they did not set out—until the day it lifted. ³⁸ So the cloud of the Lord was over the tabernacle by day, and fire was in the cloud by night, in the sight of all the Israelites during all their travels.

The last verse, 38, is showing that now as the Israelites continue to travel forward in their journey, they are not doing it alone they are doing it with the guidance directly from God. Though, God uses organization, rules, procedures. But that’s not what is most important to him. Our desire to be obedient, our relationship with Him, and our intentions in that relationship are more important so we can carry out his plan. Just like the Israelites, we need to follow his instructions and his organized plan, but we need to be doing it with the right intentions of glorifying him.

You see, what I came to realize was I was organizing my relationship with God. I was placing him in a box. I had God in a Sunday bin, a Wednesday box, a with my Christian friends’ box, a during homeschool bin, its Bible study time bin, my I’m having a bad day prayer box. Just like my Home Edit bins, I have been creating more unnecessary work for myself by separating God from all areas of my life. I have made things harder for myself, which ends up in me being more stressed out. Which affects my husband, my children, my family, my friends, my business, and everyone around me. It even affects me carrying out God’s plan of sharing the gospels with others. Generally just making everything harder. Though it was not on purpose once I realized what I was doing, I knew I needed to be more intentional in not placing God in a box.

 We should be organizing our lives around God instead of God around our lives. Everything we are and everything we do should be for the glory of God. We are specifically given those instructions in 1 Corinthians. Starting in Chapter 10 verse 23, 23 “I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but not everything is constructive. ²⁴ No one should seek their own good, but the good of others.

Then verse 31 through 33 continues 31So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. ³² Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God — ³³ even as I try to please everyone in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved.

Do you remember that little highlight reel introduction I gave… I am married, I am a homeschool mom of four children; I am a writer; I am a property manager, and I am a realtor. Ladies I know you are like me with every role possible weighing on you. We are a room full of wives, mothers, grandmothers, aunts, friends, sisters, granddaughters, nurses, teachers, chefs, chauffeurs, maids, and the list goes on. We have calendars packed with appointment and activities galore and we do not have time to be washing any extra dishes or making any kind of extra work for ourselves that are not necessary! The same is true of our relationship with God. We are missing out on opportunities to share His Gospel with others when we are making extra work and placing him in neatly placed boxes. That is exactly what 1 Corinthians 10 is showing us. We should be do everything for God’s glory. That means he should be in everything. We should be presenting him in every part of our life so those who do not know Him can see Him in us.

We need to stop trying to plan, control and organize every part of our lives while keeping God in a separate box that we only open on church days. We shouldn’t be trying to make our lives look more like everyone else. We are called to put God in everything and let him completely transform our lives, so the way we live our lives looks different from the rest of the world. Romans 12:2 says, 2 Do not be conformed to this world, [a] but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. [b]

We should be taking God out of the box and everything we do and who we are is all for Him. If we are putting God in every aspect of our lives and he is our priority, we will look different. When we look different and people say, hey what’s your secret? How have you been married for 40 years? Why do your teenage kids want to hang out with you on the weekend? Why is your business successful, yet you’re not sacrificing family time? How are you balancing it all? Why are you not falling apart after everything you have been through? That’s our perfect opportunity to share the gospel with others. That’s when we say it is not a secret it’s all God. That’s when you share your hardest of days and say but because of God, I made it through. Because everything we are doing is for Him and His glory.

I had been a stay-at-home mom for about 6 years when we moved here. After a lot of prayers, I decided to go back to working outside of the home but not in the career field I was familiar with and, of course, not what I have multiple degrees in either because that would just make too much sense. I started something brand new and began my real estate career. Working in a new career that is highly based on having connections, relationships, and referrals in a new state where you don’t know anyone is hard and beyond frustrating. But I knew this is what God was leading me to do. I stuck with it. I have been able to grow my business while still homeschooling our children, and it has truly been a blessing. But not without hard work and a lot of God.

With social media and everything available on the internet, you can find online master class courses, downloadable e-books, Facebook groups, podcasts, and YouTube videos on just about anything you would want to learn. As an avid learner, I was listening to podcasts, YouTube videos, taking all the online training classes I could to continue learning about real estate. I came across a Podcast called the Prosperous Agent,  but this one was different from all the others that had been recommended to me. This was for realtors who are believers and want to put their faith and family before their business. There was a guest speaker on his podcasts this day. Her name is Heather Shriver Burns, and she is an entrepreneur her podcast is called Seek First CEO and she shares her journey about owning businesses and putting God first in everything she does in her business. After listening, a light bulb went off. I started praying and doing my bible study and I knew it was God’s way of telling me; I needed to take him out of the box. I was keeping him in this separate box and not including him in my business because that’s what business experts tell you to do. You know, like you’re not supposed to include God in your business, because what if it offends someone? I could lose clients if I am sharing about God on my business, social media or in conversations with clients. But God was showing me how wrong that was. I mean who better to turn to and give me direction on how to grow and run a business than the one who created me, who created this business, who gave me the ability to work in this business, who allows me to meet with people I never would have met outside of this business, who I can then share the gospel with. If we should be doing everything for His glory, that includes all of our roles, even our jobs.

We have self-help books, conferences, parenting books, and relationship seminars, all these things set up to help us and guide us which are all great tools but if we are not taking God out of our little church box and covering those things with His word and wisdom, then none of those other things will help us. We should be opening his word and leaning into our prayers daily when we need advice, encouragement and support, or help in our marriages, our parenting, our friendships, our relationships, our education, and our business.  

My husband and I have talked about how sometimes with our human way of thinking we feel like God has so many things, so many people, and much bigger things to worry about than our little problems. So we don’t take those things to God. We feel like those small things are not necessarily something he needs to worry about. For me, I didn’t think God needed to worry about how many clients I had this month. Because I had this separation of God in a box, my business in a different bin, then over here my parenting in a box, my marriage in a bin, my homeschooling in a box. But in reality, we are to take all things to him. What we often don’t realize is when we don’t include him in everything, we are discrediting who He is and the power that we have through his gift of the Holy Spirit.

His word instructs us in John 14:15-17 “If you love me, you will keep my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you.

We should be taking everything to the foot of the cross and laying it all out before God and praying for His guidance and discernment. Why not present my life to everyone just as it is with God as the priority and his role in my business, my parenting, my marriage, my homeschooling, my relationships, and every single aspect of my life? I started to feel like maybe God is trying to show me I need to step out of the way and step up and obey. I needed to take God out of the box.

The first week that I wrote down all of this and my prayers and my bible study notes for how I was going to start making these changes and take God out of the box and incorporate him into everything no matter how insignificant I thought they may be. I started to feel less frustrated with work. I started getting more business. I started noticing more opportunities to share my faith and, therefore, the Gospel with both strangers and friends alike. I continued to feel God pushing me out of my comfort zone to start sharing more of my life through social media and videos, which are way out of my comfort zone. Our family just started a YouTube channel which we are sharing everything about Faith, Family, Homeschool and Real Estate because that is what I feel God has called me to do. To use every area of my life to share Him with others to share what he has done and continues to do for our family. Again, that verse 1 Corinthians 10:31 So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. When we take God out of the box and cover our lives with his presence, his plan can unfold just the way it’s supposed to and we all know His plan is always better than ours.

Now please do not leave here and go tell my husband that my Home Edit show and organization issues have misled me. Because my brain honestly is just so happy with all those bins and organizing techniques. I will continue to handwash all the bins. But I will not continue to place God in a box. Don’t you just love how God can use anything, even a Netflix show about organization, to teach us a lesson that applies in all areas of our daily lives? So ladies let’s start tonight take God out of the box, let go of that control, and don’t cause more work for yourself and let’s step out of the way and step up and obey while we are doing everything for God’s glory.

Thank you, ladies. Let’s Pray together.

Dear God,

We thank you for the reminders that we need to take you out of the box we have placed you in and place our priority in you in everything we do and in everything we are. I pray that you would open our eyes to the opportunities you have laid before us to continue to share your word with others so that they can hear the Gospel and accept your gift of salvation. Father, I pray if there is anyone here tonight that needs to take that first step in deciding to have a relationship with you that they would lay it all down at the foot of the cross and reach out to any of the ladies here on our women’s ministry team or someone sitting at their table to ask them for support and guidance in that decision. Continue to remind us that nothing is too big or too small to bring to you. We thank you that just like the Israelites we know we are not alone in our journeys and that we have you as our guide. I pray Lord that you would bless each woman here tonight in her walk with you as we grow individually and collectively as a community of Godly women. I pray that we will be reminded to do everything for you and with you.

In Jesus’ Name, Amen